Mr Big's Blog

Last blog and Goodbye....

2010-06-10T19:44:00.003-07:00

OK I know that i will get too emotional if I spend too long writing this last blog. I am sorry I couldn't explain it earlier, but I needed to take the blog down while I thought about how best to say goodbye. Some of you have become my friends and will hopefully remain my friends. I am not going anywhere, I always had this totally weird superstition that if I stopped the blog that Mr Big would die or something, but he's fine and in good health and happy, as am I. There just comes a time to end everything, "you have to know when to leave the fair" as someone very wise once told us.And that time is now. It doesn't really matter why. I do feel as though I am repeating myself and don't have much new to say excapt that love and friends are the most important thing and to value them and cherish them with all your heart and soul. Nature abhors a vacumn so I know that the space left by writing this will be filled with other things.
All my friends, you have supported and loved me through some amazing years and times and ups and downs, and whenever I have reached out to you have always been there for me. My email will stay the same clare_staples@yahoo.co.uk if you want to keep in touch. Please feel free to write a comment here to say bye to Biggie and please stay in touch, you mean and have meant so much to us.
I got this wonderful poem written by my friend Yvonne Lewis and it summed up what I would like to say way better than I ever could.....on behalf of Mr Big, who is the most wonderful dog in the world, I say adios too and hope that you had as much fun with this as I did.

ADIOS MR. BIG.

Your blogs have brightened my pc
For many, many a day.
Your words of inspiration,
Have helped me along life's way.

Although I'm positive in my outlook
I too get days of strife.
But just reading of your escapades
Very often changed my life.

You have many loving friends
That think the world of you.
I'm sure where e're you are
The sun comes shining through.

As you proceed with the rest of your life,
I know your judgement is honest and fair,
Just for good measure, you wonderful treasure,
Please give my regards to Clare.

You are a GREAT DANE in a million
Affectionate, loyal and true.
May the rest of your life be fortuitous,
Reading blogs won't be the same without you.

Generosity......

2010-06-02T14:49:00.000-07:00

So Paul's return was delayed by a day because he didn't get his passport in time, but he'll be home tomorrow and I can wait that long I guess. When Paul is back in London he spends the whole time running around trying to see people and spend time and also help people. One of the most amazing qualities about Paul is his generosity. He has true generosity of spirit, or his time, of his skills, I have never in all my life here on earth as a dog met somebody more generous. He really is amazing. Because in these times it is so so easy to be selfish and self absorbed and self obsessed and not even notice other's and what they might be going through, but Paul always makes time for others and I think I really do admire and respect and love him even more for that. I am not the most generous person in the world but it does inspire me to try to be more generous, we all could be more generous I think. As somebody wiser than I once said.... “Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.”
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, well the fast went on for five days and now Clare is doing a 3 day kind of reintroduction of foods, so today is a lot of orange juice and Vegetable soup that the wonderful Tasha made for them both. Weirdly they both have so much energy, as you can see from the photos, Clare's literally head over heels.... They were really proud to have achieved their goal of five days, and it's probably best they don't do anymore or they'd disappear, Clare already lost ten pounds, which I think should go back on when she starts to eat again. they really didn't do it to lose weight, just to clean everything out, which I definitely think it did. The great thing about the cleanse is that after it you don't feel like putting junk in your body again, you want to keep it clean and nice, or so they tell me :)
Over the weekend Clare had so many invitations to go to barbeque's and cook-outs and she didn't go to any of them. I think it would have been hard being around food when you're not eating. So instead we had the laziest weekend of all time and stayed at home watching the silliest chick movies of all time. It was perfect. Most nights we were in bed by 9.30 and asleep moments later. We hiked with Lu parker and her dog Monkey and we saw lots of Tash and then Clare spent the rest of the time doing this hilarious scavenger hunt where she and a friend came up with 26 photos they had to take and send to each other within the week. It is still going on, and has been quite hilarious. It's such a fun idea when you're not in the same place as someone else but want to be silly together anyways. We all find ways to connect even when the other person is far away and this is such a fun way. I did sneak a look at the list and one of the items involves dressing one of the dogs up and it sure as heck isn't going to be me.....Bentley better watch out on that one.....will let you know how it turns out and remember....“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Cleanse....

2010-05-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

OK so I don't want to bore you all with each day of Clare's cleanse. Bentley and I originally took cover but she seems fine and happy and mellow. She and tasha are texting each other for support and helpful hints and so far so good. Apparently it doesn't taste too bad and actually does kill the hunger pangs and feels pretty good. So I shall keep you posted. The girls had fun this morning making the first batch. Tash brough Sam over. Sam is Bentley's girlfriend so the moment she arrived he went all loopy loo running around after her. He is definitely in puppy love. It's cute to watch. He brought her his toy to play with and then just followed her around trying to kiss her face. I love that first bit. When you just meet someone and you have nothing but high hopes and butterflies and can't stop smiling and it seems as though the sun is shining brighter and birds are singing louder. It's the best feeling in the world and I totally understand why people do the things they do for love. It can come out of nowhere when you're least expecting it. So Bentley is happy and so is Sam, I'll keep you updated about their romance.
So Paul left yesterday and flew back to London. Which is always a bit sad. We all miss him and his happy energy. But he'll be back in less than a week and it's probably better that he is away while Clare does the fast. I am not sure he would approve. So we are falling back on hanging out with the girls. Which is just about the best fun you can have (without boys).
Four of us are going to see Sex and The City 2 tomorrow, Clare, Tasha, Emma and .... someone else .....and we cannot wait to see it. I love the clothes and they're such fun. I think we'll see it at The Grove and maybe do a little shopping while we're there. Proper girl stuff.
This afternoon, Emma came over to lay out by the pool and get a little colour for the summer. She brought dogs and a whole lot of support and distraction to get Clare through another afternoon of not eating. She was a little ambitious this morning and went to yoga but had to leave after 45 minutes as she felt a little faint. Aside from that it was all good. The best way to get through anything hard is surround yourself with great girls so it looks like that's going to be the order of the day for this memorial day weekend. Will keep you posted. OH AND MOST IMPORTANTLY THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU TO ALL THAT SENT EMAILS AND POSTED SUPPORT ON CLARE'S WALL AND SENT TEXTS TO ENCOURAGE HER, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. LOVE LOVE LOVE XXX

Healthy days.....

2010-05-27T17:14:00.000-07:00

So there seems to be a bout of healthiness going on in this house right now. Clare obviously hikes every morning but has recently discovered the new Nike thing that you put in your shoe and link to your ipod. So now our hikes have become competitive as she is always trying to burn more calories or mainly do more distance. The music plays on shuffle and then a ladies voice interrupts all time telling us the distance and calorie count. You can even compete against other people so we challenge Natasha and that really helps. Clare also has a new private yoga teacher called Camilla, who is swedish and amazing and is changing her life. She even breathes differently and definitely seems calmer and more chilled.And then tomorrow she has lost her mind entirely, and as Paul has gone away for a week, she is doing the master cleanse with Tasha. They basically are going to drink only lemonade, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and water for a few days (she has a goal of five days) but who knows how long this could last - five hours possibly. So they have all the equipment and ingredients and they are raring to go. Will let you know as it goes on just how hard it is and how good. I worry not eating is going to make her a little grumpy so Bentley and I are staying under the couch for the first few days to be safe.
So last night was the finale of American Idol. It was so good. Loved the Bee Gee's, Hall and Oates, Janet, Joe Cocker and when Brett Michaels came out the roof practically blew off. It was so good and of course we love us a little Casey James in the house haha. Love a Southern guy and he's from Cool Texas which sounds about as cool as you can get.
After the finale we headed over to Ceconni's for dinner with Simon, Ryan, Randy, and the girls, even Paula was there. We ate Truffle Pizza and stayed pretty late until we went on to the Idol aftershow party at The Mondrian. It was great spending the last night with all the boys together again. I am going to miss Simon so much. I actually got a little teary during the show and saying goodbye to him at the end of the night. I hate goodbye's the most.
So we ended up back at the house with some of my favourite girls, Kelly and Jamie were so awesome and cool, and I have to say there are not many girls beautiful enough to be able to hold their own in a photo with Raquel Welch but Kelly did. That woman is ridiculously beautiful. The girls ended up dancing round the living room and it was such a silly laugh but a perfect way to end the night.
It was all about the love, with a touch of drama on the side, but that's part of the fun too. Climbed into bed late but happy and so blessed to have all these wonderful friends......AGAIN, but really at the end of the day, what else is there. Love to all of you and help me through the cleanse with some encouraging emails haha xxxx

Endings....and cool beginnings....

2010-05-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

So this is a funny week. It seems like a week of season finales on TV and some other endings too. It seems so strange to think that it's Simon's last day on Idol today, it's the end of an era and we shall miss him terribly. Last night we went to the show and it was great to watch and be a part of it. The whole gang is in town so tonight should be a great night. After Idol we headed over to The Greek to watch Get Him To The Greek, Russell's premiere of his movie. It was really special watchng the movie at the place it was about and filmed at. Although nobody had told me it was outside so I was frozen and Clare had to cover me up with free promotional tshirts for the movie to keep the cold out :)
The funny thing is that both things were glamorous and fun, but as always the real fun, the amazing moments come from being with friends and sharing it all. It's only ever about being with the people you love and the lovely moments you have together, no matter how glamorous the surroundings. Clare bumped into one of her oldest and dearest friends Dawn Heuser. She and Dawn know each other through Tove and Nora and Ingrid and they all went on an incredibly memorable horse riding vacation in Colorado which is one of her happiest memories. She's a fabulous girl and now they're facebook friends. Clare never actually thought she would be that girl that yells "facebook me" across a movie theatre but there you go. It's a fabulous way to bring people together again. And then there was Sadie and Suze, Ollie and Chris, Nick and Sean, and of course Danny.
It was great to see Russell and Katy after and congratulate both on them on their work. They are just lovely, wonderful, awesome and such a talented couple and deserve all their success. Clare was particularly excited to meet and talk to 'Kenneth The Page' from her favourite show 30 Rock. He is her favourite character, well he's from Georgia :) and he makes her laugh more than anyone else on TV. It's funny because Clare has had Georgia on her mind a lot lately. I think she's finally ok and happy, all this time on, has moved on from the ex. I know it takes a while to get somebody out of your heart. She doesn't let people in there lightly and it really takes a long time for her to prise them out. I guess they're all still in there a little bit, but the feelings have gone, she doesn't think about him anymore and I think that big heart of hers is finally ready to let somebody else in there. So watch this space. I hope he has a dog :)
So tonight is Idol finale, so we shall tweet or facebook from there if we can. Bentleys followers have reached 30 and he is deliriously excited to have Ryan following him too........never in his wildest dreams did he think anybody would be interested in what a dog from Knoxville Tennessee had to say about life, love and lazing about.......thank you again. Go Leeeeeeee, just in case you're wondering who we're rooting for.......

Connect....

2010-05-24T10:50:00.001-07:00

So we got up this morning to go on our hike and when we opened the garage doors and saw all the news trucks back again outside Brittany Murphy's house, my heart just sank. We could tell from the questions being shouted through the car windows that her poor husband had died last night and it was hard to drive and hard to just carry on as normal. I feel so sad for her mother and everything she has had to go through. The strangest thing that came into my mind was to "love your neighbour". It is so easy these days not to connect with people who are right next door. You mind your own business and shut your door and keep yourself to yourself, but sometimes it's important to take some care of the people close by to you. Extend the hand of friendship and compassion; but in some situations you don't know what to say, or whether to bother them, so you just say nothing. I think one of the biggest things we have lost is Community. Back in the old days, communities were communities and people looked out for one another and knew each other and rallied round the old and the weak and nowadays that is overlooked in our busy insular lives.
I think if there was one thing I would take from this, it's to try and take the time to meet and know the people living close to you. I remember when we lived in London, our flat was one of six in a building in Chelsea, but we rarely stopped to chat to our neighbours, we just passed each other on the stairs and nodded. Connection is everything in this world and it's important to make connections to make other people feel as though they are seen and heard and cared about and matter. That is so key to feeling a part of this world so let's all do what we can. All this technology for connection and what we really only know more about is how anonymous we are in the grand scheme of things. There are so many ways to connect with others nowadays and I think that's amazing. I have made some friendships on line with people all over the world and I treasure them. Facebook, twitter, BBM, Yahoo Messenger, Skype, text, phone and just saying "Hello how are you"......the more you do the better. “Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.”
We had a nice weekend, dinner with Ryan Friday was the most fun ever, and then we spent the rest of the weekend saying goodbye to Kate and Rupert Friend and Sunday was Chris Dyson's birthday party at The Palihouse which was so much fun but now all seems quite a long time ago. It's a sad day, and I say a prayer and just appreciate all the little things just a little bit more today...“At different states in our lives, the signs of love may vary: dependence, attraction, contentment, worry, loyalty, grief, but at the heart, the source is always the same. Human beings have the rare capacity to connect with each other, against all odds.”

Our House

2010-05-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

So it's been a fabulous week. So much going on and all of it good. Funnily enough we've been very interested to watch the new Rolling Stones documentary about the making of Exile on Main Street. There is a connection to our house that's interesting, most of the album was made in the south of france at Nelcote but they finished the album in Los Angeles and during that stay they lived here in our house. Cocksucker Blues was shot here too, which was a banned black and white documentary made at that time. It's funny to see footage of Mick and the boys by the pool and hanging in the house and walking out of the front door which still looks exactly the same as it did then. I love stuff like that. We have the movie here and it's funny to watch it in the screening room in the same house it was filmed in. I always love to imagine people in the past standing in the same spot I am standing in. So many creative people lived here - John Schlesinger, the director of Midnight Cowboy, Diane Warren who wrote so many amazing songs I adore, Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford lived here when they were married and apparently the Dalai Lama came and stayed in the media room when he visited them, and Julie Christie apparently lived in Clare's room too. So these walls could tell a lot of stories. Bentley is so excited to be tweeting now, he has 23 followers and I love each and every one of you for being so sweet and kind to support him. I suppose I take it for granted that I had a book written about me and my blog and have had my fair share of media attention because of that, appearing on TV and such like, but Bentley hasn't had the same attention so he is excited to be able to put his own spin on things. I feel as though he is warming up and finding his little voice but nonetheless he is enjoying it a lot. For those of you who don't know what to do to follow him, you just go to Twitter.com, give yourself a name and then find LoveBentley and click FOLLOW and there you are, regular up to the minute musings from my friend.
Last night we drove down to Venice and had dinner at Steve Shaw's which was delicious. Natasha, Kate, Paul and Clare, all sitting round Steve's dinner table eating the most delicious wild salmon I ever tasted. So thanks for that.
And Clare ate all of it for a change, due to the fact that she went to the doctor to find out the results of her physical and when they'd tested her blood they found that she had a very underactive thyroid so her metabolism has been underactive and causing her to sleep badly, have loss of memory, be irritable and depressed, and she just thought it was normal, so she can eat finally and get her energy levels back up. It's amazing that she didn't even know and just put it down to getting older, so make sure you get regular medical exams to make sure you're as healthy as you can be. So that's all the news this side of the pond, unless Bentley has something to add later today. Love and hugs and kisses to all......

Skunks and other creatures...

2010-05-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

My favourite time of the day is first thing when we wake up and I have my breakfast and then we all jump in the car and drive up the hill to the canyon. We usually meet up with Natasa with Sam or Bryan with Henry, or we make some new friends or meet other friends, and it is just so wonderful. The most fun canyon in LA is Runyon. It is full of amazing characters, beautiful people, a smattering of famous faces and every shape and size of dog you can imagine. It's the only canyon where dogs are allowed off leash (legally) so it is pretty popular. And it's great exercise for toning your legs and bottom if you're a human. It's just like a giant social club for dog lovers and exercise fiends. We have made some great friends for life there. There are quite a few other great danes there too, Sam obviously, and Gigi, Diesel, Otto, Orion and Marmaduke. They're all fun.
The best part about the canyons is being in such beautiful nature We see amazing birds, coyotes, lizards, deer, owls, racoons and even skunks sometimes!!! Oh and the occasional rattle snake, which we know to avoid. It's like anywhere else in this city, there are good creatures and bad creatures. My least favourite creature happens to be "freeloaders with a sense of entitlement" and unfortunately their natural habitat is LA, but they are quite easy to spot as they have distinctive traits, so we try and avoid them as well as skunks and snakes and that makes life easier :) We had a great weekend with our human friends this weekend too Friday night we had a fun and games night at the house to welcome Kate Buckley. Emma P-B, Ollie, Jonny Lee Miller, Rupert Friend, Meredith and Steve Shaw all came by for curry. Emma brought her hubbly bubbly pipe with apple flavour which everyone had a go on which was hysterical fun. I have only ever seen these things in Morocco and wasn't sure what it was like but it certainly was a lot of fun. Sunday was a perfect day....up early for a hike with Scott Wood and then we came home to have breakfast with the gang. We lazed by the pool most of the day getting tans and then drove over to gorgeous Sadie Turner's for a fantastic Birthday BBQ with some of our favourite boys, and girls. She was the best hostess and threw a fantastic party we all loved. It was a great afternoon of hanging and talking and laughing. There was ice cream cake and singing before we headed home for Chin Chin's and some Housewives of New York City on TV which was hilarious. Guilty pleasure for a Sunday night, but then again, if that's the worst guilty pleasure we have right now, life is pretty good....Happy Birthday Sades, love you xxxx

OH AND BIG NEWS FOR BENTLEY FANS (IF THERE IS SUCH A THING) DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, BENTLEY NOW TWEETS, HE THINKS HE HAS THINGS TO SAY SO YOU CAN FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER ON @LoveBentley where his name is Bentley Love. Enjoy his profound thoughts there xxx

Spiritual Growth....

2010-05-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

I often say that the answer to any problem or crisis is always more spiritual growth and I get quite a few people asking what exactly that is. Well, I am no guru, mystic, shamen or clever clogs, I only know what's worked for me when I've remembered to practice it. Because I definitely don't do this all the time, I TRY, I practice, and eventually, usually when I get in enough discomfort I remember, or somebody kindly reminds me and I do it and it works.
I don't really think that being spiritual is about sitting under a tree in the lotus position or going off to a hidden cave, it's so much more a daily practice of just paying attention to everything that comes to us, and happens to us, and the realisation that every person, place, and event in our lives is perfectly designed to teach us something we need to learn in order to grow. So when somebody we love leaves us, or we get sick, or become rich and famous, somebody does something mean to us - we learn spiritual lessons from it all equally. We treat every situation as a lesson and a gift. Of course it's easier said than done, but just having faith that something somewhere is working for our higher good helps free us from the heartache attached to some of these things. We just have to stay open and wide awake, being students rather than victims or our lives. It helps a lot for me to believe this. "Life, like any other exciting story, is bound to have painful and scary parts, boring and depressing parts, but it's a brilliant story, and it's up to us how it will turn out in the end. Life's a mystery, but we have to solve it for ourselves by being sharp and noticing all the clues and signs. Life is dry and dull without diving into the wonder and challenge of the mystery of it.
So that's what I meant by that. And I continue to do my best to learn and grow and I get enough letters from others who are on the same path and I learn from all of you guys too. It's a fascinating journey and I'm glad I'm alive enough to see it in all it's glory. So this weekend was so much fun. We went to see Iron Man 2 and then went on to Ollie's birthday party at STK which was amazing. We had a private outside space with flowers and the most amazing food and his parents flew in and Zac Effron, Vanessa Hudgens, Kate Mara, and a whole ton of other friends of Ollie, he has more friends than anyone I know also turned up to celebrate before we all headed over to Soho House to continue the fun. It was the best evening which kicked off the best weekend.
Now we're so excited that Kate Buckley is arriving for the week and staying and that's always the greatest fun. So looking forward to it, it's ridiculous. She's one of our favourite teachers in the world. Can't wait to tell you all about it.....Happy learnings xxx " If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" Maya Angelou

Rejection....

2010-05-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

I have noticed recently that one of the things that hurts people's feelings is rejection. Any kind of rejection stings, even when it's from somebody you didn't even particularly like, somehow even that rejection can be upsetting. And these days there are just so many more ways to be rejected - by text, email, facebook, twitter, voice message and complete silence. It kind of feels as though somebody is saying "You're not the one" or "I don't like you enough to hang out with you" or "I can't be bothered to return a text message from you" it's easy to start thinking you're not good enough, likeable enough, loveable enough, funny pretty fabulous or smart enough. And it all can hurt.
Even things that aren't really rejection, but things you perceive as rejection hurt just the same. Maybe that person was busy, or forgot, or had some sort of problem that they didn't feel like being around anybody - you can still take the rejection personally and let it affect how you feel. And that's where problems arise. So many times in my life I have thought, oh you rejected me so I'll reject you so I don't get hurt more, and actually they weren't doing that at all. Always good to check it out with other people you love and respect to find out if you're just being overly sensitive. Another person has a much better perspective on these things sometimes because they're not clouded by their emotions and can see more clearly.
I think all most people want in life is connection and acceptance after all “Human beings, like plants, grow in the soil of acceptance, not in the atmosphere of rejection” Just to feel that people know you and like you is the greatest feeling on earth. But even Clare, who has a lot of people in her life, can suddenly feel that nobody likes her and feel rejected, and imagine everybody is somewhere having a wonderful time without her and loving it. But that's usually not true!!!! So best to stop telling yourself those horrid stories.
Of course, sometimes you may be right. Somebody may well be rejecting you from their life, and when that happens I always try and remind myself that "Rejection is God's protection" and that perhaps it's better that person isn't in my life anyways and that God is doing for me what perhaps I couldn't do for myself. I also remember that quite often in my life I have been too busy for people, too caught up in my own stuff, or couldn't be bothered to get together enough and that probably felt like a rejection to them. So the best thing to do is try and come from a place of kindness and compassion and make time for friends and then they'll make time for you too.
This week has been such fun.....Nick Candy and Neil Reading were in town and we hung out, and then this week Russell Brand was up at the house filming his new movie and making us laugh more than I thought possible. During the shooting Bentley suddenly decided that he wanted to be a movie star and walked straight into the middle and climbed on Russell and sat down on his lap. He's going to want an agent and a lawyer next.......only in Hollywood :) “I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.”

Friends....and then there are FRIENDS

2010-04-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

We are very sorry - Everybody wondering what we've been doing that's so much fun we didn't have time to blog or facebook or tweet or call or text.....So let me explain. Last week, Clare watched an episode of The Hills, she kind of liked it, so with a new season starting this week, she Tivo'd it. But she Tivo'd the entire five seasons so we haven't actually left the house for day. Heidi, Spencer, Audrina, Justin Bobby....it's tragic but it's true. ANYTHING CAN BE ADDICTIVE haha
So, back to real life, our life, and watching The HIlls and friends coming and going and fighting and making up - living in this town it is kind of easy to be disappointed by people sometimes. Maybe it's the same the world over, but it does seem to be particularly difficult here, finding good friends, who really are your friends and don't just want something more, like for you to read their script or introduce them to somebody, or a host of other things above and beyond just friendship. The way to navigate the disappointment of finding out someone has an ulterior motive or agenda is to not really have that high an expectation in the first place and to have your core inner circle of friends who are your REAL FRIENDS and then all the other people who are your social friends. Your inner core, your peeps, your true true friends are the handful of people that are in the inner circle, who you trust with your secrets, trust with seeing you at your worst, trust with your life sometimes and who have proven that they won't let you down. They are in it for the long haul, warts and all, good and bad...
kind of like a marriage. These are the people you would ask to help you bury a body at worst, or pick you up from the airport at best, or just listen to you vent, or look after your dog (they would have to be very good friends for that), all that sort of stuff you wouldn't ask an acquaintance. As Tennessee Williams said “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
Right in the centre of Clare's circle is Paul....he's her buoy. Yes I spelt it that way for a reaon, he's her buoy, he keeps her afloat when the water gets rough and deep, he's always there to hold on to and rely on and get strength from and tread water, then at other times she swims away and round and under, but she knows he's always there bobbing right nearby. Then there are the other rocks in her circle and then there's all the other friends, the ones you might hang out with at Soho House on a Friday, there's nothing wrong with them at all, you just know that you'd feel awkward asking them for a favour, or to help you with something, or to take you to the doctor's when you're not feeling well, they're not really that sort of friend.
And let me tell you, all friends are good, all the different levels and degrees of friendship are awesome. A friend is a friend, it's just that sometimes you're sitting at a table and look across at somebody you have known forever and just get such a safe and wonderful and secure feeling from knowing that they've got your back. Because at the end of the day, that's a real friend, someone you know if you were being badmouthed would stick up for you and defend you, who wouldn't think badly of you if you messed up once in a while, someone who sets their alarm to hike with you in the mornings so we can play with their dogs, that's a real friend. Had a weekend of them - Ry and Simon being two of the best friends you could ever ask for, all three Kate's (Clare's triumverate), Matthew, Johnny, Brian and the stags (a group of boys cooler than the flipside of her pillow :) and always there, Sadie, Emma and Tasha (the best girlfriends for girly talk and help with girly decisions) and on and on.....and there are a lot of them I can't name, but they know who they are and how much they mean......so this blog's for you my friends.....here's to you :)

Dilemma.....

2010-04-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

So Clare is facing a dilemma. I had to go and look that up and a dilemma is "A situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive." Hmmmmm. I think she needs to make a decison and is kind of torn between which is the right choice. That's what I have managed to gather. What to do when you have a dilemma and can't seem to choose ... I think asking the friends that you trust is the first option, maybe find somebody who has had the same problem and see what they did, and when all else fails, pray your little butt off for help and guidance in making the right choice. Sometimes it's not helpful to ask too many people, as they all seem to have different experiences and opinions and it can be confusing more than helpful, so in the end all you can do is pray and then trust your judgement and your gut. That's what dogs do.I think one of our main dilemmas is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better and sometimes that isn't possible. I guess you have to decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and get on with it. Luckily she doesn't have to make a decision today, she has time to ponder the pros and cons of both, so we shall let you know how that goes.
So it's been an amazing week and we have had a lot of fun. Went to Soho House with the gorgeous Tasha and handsome Bryan and we had such a great night. We met El Nino who is a boxer and just about the most entertaining one I've ever encountered. Still laughing about that night. Then on Friday we went for a hike with lovely Matthew Rhys and then lunch with Dougray, him and Paul and that night we went to see The Eagles at The Hollywood Bowl which was the best concert I ever heard and saw. It was magical and perfect. Clare said that if she had known when she was growing up in Cobham that one day she would see them at The Hollywood Bowl as she now lived in LA she wouldn't have believed it. Then Saturday night Clare and Paul went to dinner at Beverly Hills Hotel at The Polo Lounge which was absolutely fantastic. Sunday we hiked early with friends, had lunch at Soho House and then on to Fabulous Stephen Fry's BBQ at his amazing house in the hills. We hung out with Rufus, and JJ and met Gore Vidal and the awesome Bear Grylls who I think would be my number one choice of companion if I were stuck in the wilderness haha.
So all in all it was a great week. We were LTD (Living The Dream) in so many moments. Paul's philosophy is that you get more of what you focus on so we make sure to say LTD in our heads every time we have one of those times where life seems fabulous and we just seem to get more and more of them as a result. LTD......yayyyyyyyyyy

"the friendly club"

2010-04-14T14:44:00.000-07:00

Well I just read a very interesting thing, of course I can read or how else could I write!!!! Dogs read all sorts of things, like signs telling people to Beware of Us and On Leash and Off Leash signs and....well you get the picture. Anyway in this weeks People magazine, the one with Justin Bieber on the cover (I know I can't explain that either), there was something interesting that caught my eye. In an article about Carol Burnett, apart from noticing that she married a man 20 years younger than her at 60, there was a caption under a photo of her and John Belushi (who used to live at Chateau Marmont, where we lived when we first got here to LA) they talked about "the friendly club" which was started by her and Charles Grodin and was about being friendly to people, smiling, letting them know you know they exist. John said 'It's a great idea; i'm starting to do it now.'
Well it suddenly occurred to me that we should all do it. I know that when I have received some nice compliments lately, that they made me feel so good and happy, and that's an extension of friendliness. How about we all smile and say hello, and where appropriate, or even not appropriate, give a compliment for free. If we all did that a bit more I think we could exponentially cheer the world up. And how great would that feel.
I think it's another great key to being happy, making other people happy, and what better way than to make them feel good about themselves and acknowledged. "Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give." I think we could be on to something, happiness is kind of like a kiss, you have to share it to enjoy it. I am going to make a conscious effort this week to be friendly, happy and nice to as many people as I possibly can. I know that when we walk round the canyon in the morning, everybody says hello, stops to pet me, smiles and is nice, and for that reason my walk is my favourite part of my day.
This is certainly one of the best ideas I’ve found about happiness. And it might sound cliched but it works very well. When you make someone else happy – by, for example, helping them with something or giving them a compliment – you can sense, see, feel and hear it. And that happy feeling comess back to you.
And since the Law of Reciprocity is strong there is another upside. People will feel like giving back to you. Or they might feel like sharing it with someone else. And so the two – or more – of you keep spreading the happiness..... the happiness keeps on spreading as long as you keep on sharing it.

Just Do It.....

2010-04-11T11:52:00.001-07:00

You know sometimes, if you sit around and think about stuff too much, you can really make yourself miserable. With Paul writing his happiness book right now, it has given me a lot of food for thought, especially about how to be happy. One of the things that's important to remember when you're feeling a little blue is to DO SOMETHING, just move, get out and about, change your state and location. "Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."
That's what we do. The minute that little voice starts up, telling us negative things to bring us down, we shut it up by jumping in the car and going to do something. Movement definitely helps...Jump up and into something, everyday I read this quote to start it off well - "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain.
That always makes my day go better. If you don’t take action you’ll be missing out on a lot. Including many moments, people and experiences that can bring you a lot of happiness Another important ingredient to happiness is to remember that it's a choice. It really is true that "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." SO we wake up and choose to be happy. You can choose to find happiness in small, everyday things. You can choose to interpret what happens in a positive way or in a negative way. "Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking." Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Your choices control much of how much happiness your will find and create in your life so try and make them good positive choices.
The last ingredient is to stay in the moment. You only have now. So live more in the now, focus on the present moment and today. Think and worry less about yesterday and tomorrow or you might miss a great deal of happiness that is available to you right now. "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." Life is happening now, don't miss a second of it living anywhere else in your head.
So we had a very HAPPY weekend. Alex left for London for a while so Clare and Paul spent the weekend joined at the hip, they went to see Green Zone which they loved, they hiked, Clare rode, Bentley and Sam played until they were exhausted (pictured is generally the position they were in for the entire time they're together) they had lunch at Soho House with Clare's beautiful friend Natasha, they went to a BBQ at Vinnie's and saw so many friends, it was perfect, absolutely perfect and we're so happy it's ridiiculous xxx

Meditation....

2010-04-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

So this week we have started work on Paul's movie about Big Mind Meditation which is amazing. You know they say that if you want to know God hang out in the space between your thoughts and that's what we've been doing. Paul has had the idea to bring meditation to a wider audience and encourage more people to meditate and still their minds and find peace of mind. He has talked about doing it for quite a while but we haven't had a lot of time, but he wanted to make it happen and it has. That's the amazing thing about Paul. He has ideas, like we all have ideas, but he gets really passionate about them and takes action and brings his ideas to life. I love that. He has done Big Mind with so many of our friends and they have all really enjoyed it and got a lot out of it so he knew other people would like it too. Essentially it is a short cut to the satori state without having to sit in lotus position for 20 years, you can find your way their quickly and easily and go back there any time you like.
It's an amazing experience. Sometimes when they are doing it with people, I sit and listen and follow along and it's the only time my mind goes completely quiet. Completely peaceful. All the thoughts about the past and future and things I don't have and want, and all that seeking and desiring just quietens down. Heaven. Technically “Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in Eternal awareness or Pure consciousness without objectification, knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity." But that doesn't give you any idea of the benefits and there are so many of them.
So yesterday we drove out to Malibu, to the most heavenly view, where Alex directed the first chunk of the movie and he did a
really fantastic job. Such a great crew and Clare's lovely, wonderful, talented and gorgeous friend Bryan came along too to try it out, and they sat in the beautiful sunshine with an amazing backdrop of the Santa Monica Mountains and let themselves be transported to a wonderful blissful quiet place and from the looks on their faces I would say it works and everybody should go there regularly. Science has proven that there are amazing health benefits and psychological benefits to meditation and when large numbers of people meditate in one place they can even bring the crime rates down. It's good energy and it affects other people's energy, even if they're not doing it themselves. Sounds crazy but the truest things always sound crazy to being with.
I shall let you know more abou the movie is going as the week progresses. We had a fab Easter thanks to Russell and Katy's Eggstravaganza with bunny ears and tails, eggs and chocolate bunnies and the most beautiful day, interrupted momentarily for an earthquake, but even that didn't deter us.
Hope you all had a great easter too. Ommmmmmmmmmmm “Meditation here may think down hours to moments. Here the heart may give a useful lesson to the head and learning wiser grow without his books."

Breaking up is hard to do....

2010-04-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

It's strange but weirdly we have a lot of friends right now who are suffering with the pain of breaking up their relationships and Clare has spent a lot of time recently trying to comfort different people who are going through the same thing Of course it's impossible to take that pain away. We all know what it feels like and it totally sucks. Even when you're the one doing the breaking up it still hurts to let go of someone you have cared for and loved. You have to find strength to get through it. Buddhists say that your heart is meant to be broken, that's how it opens, and it's painful but true. In a weird way we all have to go through it at some point and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I am very philosophical in my belief that everything happens for a reason, and that we are always right where we need to be to learn whatever it is we need to.
Sometimes when a lot of difficult and painful things are going on in your life, it can be to distract us while something amazing is changing or being born in us. It's just hard to recognise it at the time But I always believe that something is always working for our higher good in our lives and that the universe if conspiring to help us learn and grow and that makes it easier to get through the tough times.
Who wants to settle for an easy life - far better to jump and take risks and get your heart broken and feel raw and vulnerable, it's what we're here for I think. To feel everything, the good and the bad. Risk is the currency of the Gods and always yields the biggest rewards in life. “To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
In breakups the two things you need are time and friends. Time is the biggest healer - it's ironic that it takes a couple of seconds to say Hello, but it can take such a long time to say Goodbye and no matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends. That's when you need them most which is why it's so important to be there for them when they need you. That's truly what friends are for.
We surrounded ourselves with friends again this weekend. Friday night, as Alex is leaving this week to go back to London, Clare threw a games night with some of his favourite people in LA and it was fantastic although for the first time his team lost with Paul, Clare, Matthew Rhys, gorgeous Nicola Carson and Tasa Fontaine (with her great dane puppy Sam) being beaten by three points by Emma Forrest, Osa, Anna Friel, Sean Maguire. Steve Shaw, Sadie and Joe Cross. Then on Saturday night we went to our favourite place in the world for dinner with Simon and beautiful Mish, Ryan and Randy and the absolutely gorgeous, sweet, lovely Cheryl Cole who has to be just one of the nicest girls you could ever possibly meet. It was two fantastic evenings in a row and we could not have had a nicer time with nicer people. Fabulous friends forever.....

SMILE :)

2010-03-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

Well I just read the most interesting thing in the LA Times. They said that people who smile a lot are "usually happier, have more stable personalities, more stable marriages, better cognitive skills and better interpersonal skills, according to research. Science has just uncovered another benefit of a happy face. People who have big smiles live longer."
This isn't a bunch of psycho-hooey, the authors said. Smiles reflect positive emotion. Positive emotion has been linked to both physical and mental well-being. They added a caveat to their study: "The data source provided no information as to whether expressions were spontaneous or in response to a photographer's request to smile." Still, big smiles are more likely to reflect true happiness than partial smiles. SO this is huge. I am very happy to say that Clare and Paul smile A LOT so I feel as though that is a very optimistic study, they're going to live FOREVER !!! But how brilliant to find out that being happy affects your health. I think it is true in dogs too, although perhaps it should be measured in tail wags instead, although I do know a lot of dogs who smile. Golden Retrievers in particular are very smiley dogs. Paul once told me about a happiness study that tells people to put little yellow stickers or stars everywhere and that every time they notice one they have to stop and remember a happy time or memory or thought and that this trains the mind to be happy. I sit and listen to Paul telling jokes all day and Clare putting a funny spn on life as she sees it so I think I am permanently smiling. “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
We did have a very smiley time this weekend. Vinnie Jones had a BBQ and that's always fun. They have a beautiful home and we went up and hung out with gorgeous Matthew Rhys, Max Beesley and wonderful sexy Sadie. We enjoyed the early evening with friends and smiled a lot. And then on Sunday we had lunch with a bunch of friends at Soho House looking out over the beautiful views of LA. Honestly it was the most heavenly day and we laughed so much, and you know that laughing is the only thing better than a good smile. A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around. So our lesson for the day is keep smiling, laugh, and enjoy your life as much as you possibly can. I am giving it my best shot.....

Speak Up....

2010-03-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was amazing. And eventful. And we got a lot done. As I mentioned in the last blog, Clare had been mad at somebody but not saying anything about it and then she knew she had to but had a bit of fear about it all. It seems to me that one of the biggest obstacles that stands in the way of people resolving things is fear, and that fear is of not being liked. You convince yourselves that if you tell somebody your truth, how you're feeling, what you want, that they might not like you anymore, or as much or at all, so you squash it all down and make yourself unhappy in the process. You convince youself that what somebody else thinks is more important than how you feel. And that's crazy. If they are irritated by you or annoyed at you, do you know who's problem that is? Not Yours. It's theirs.
And it's not your job to fix them or make them feel better. Well what a revelation that turned out to be. Trying to make everybody happy, not rock the boat, keep the peace and tow the line is just about the most pointless and exhausting process there is.
The key to every succesful relationship is communication, and if you can't make that work then I am not sure the relationship will work so find your voice, speak up - Feel The Fear And Say It Anyway. You'll be amazed how well it works.
So Saturday was Bentley's birthday. He was two. And Clare decided we should have a party on dog beach at Huntington Beach to celebrate with all his doggie friends. Well they're my friends too, but we share. So at 9am we gathered at the house with Sean Maguire and Archie Dog, Emma and three of her pooches including Brownie and China, and then set off with Alex to meet Bryan and Henry Ridgeback, Tasa with Sam Dane, and Brian plus Otto Dane. All in all there were five Great Danes on the beach, with 10 other dogs running in and out of the ocean while all their human friends hung out and talked and laughed on the sand. It was so much fun.
It was perfect weather and I think everybody enjoyed themselves. Bentley had two girlfriends there and didn't know which he likes more, so spent his time trying to keep both of them happy, which never works out exactly right as one always gets left out a little, but he did his best and then we got in the cars and went to Chateau Marmont for lunch which they gave us for free which was really amazing. They say there is no such thing as a free lunch in LA but apparently we had the only one and loved it even more for that.
In the evening, Bentley's favourite guy Ryan Seacrest came over to give him a birthday hug and they honestly had the best and funniest time messing about. Bentley LOVES Ryan, especially since he put Bentley's photo on his Facebook and Twitter photo so now the whole world sees Bentley which I think he loves.....so finally it was time to climb into bed. Tired, no, exhausted, but so so so happy. It was the best birthday ever and I was happy to be a part of it my friend......“Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow...”

Fighting and Festering....

2010-03-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

Gosh that was a brilliant but tiring long weekend full of people and late nights and laughter and playing in the canyon with our new friends Henry the ridgeback and Sam the great dane puppy....will tell you all about it later on.
The funny thing is that Clare has been mad at somebody lately and sort of punishing them by being snippy and not that friendly and then a close friend pointed out something that I had never really thought of before. That all punishment is self punishment and I thought that was very true. There is no point sitting around being mad at somebody for whatever it is they did or didn't do, really all that festering, silent scorn, sulking and anger is only hurting one person. And that's you. So it is kind of pointless in the end. Far better to either (a) discuss it with them, let them know what it is that upset you, what your perception was and find a resolution or (b) shrug it off, get over it, change your perspective, forgive them, and forget about it or (c) pray for them for two weeks straight, pray that they get everything you would want for yourself, and I guarantee after 2 weeks you won't harbor any resentment toward them anymore, it's miraculous. Anything other than A B or C is futile and just makes you unhappy. But take the action and you will be totally free of the bad feeling before you know it. All three things effectively result in forgiveness and that really is the only way forward. "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
So, the weekend WAS good. Friday night we had a curry and games night at the house. It was so much fun it was ridiculous. A great turn out and the scores were so close it was a nail biting finish. Everybody threw themselves into the fun. We had one team that was made up of Stephen Fry, Matthew Rhys, Clare, Paul, Buckley, JJ Feild and Emma Parker Bowles and the other of Sophie Winkelman, Alex, Nick Moran, Sean Maguire, Aml Amee, Ross King and his gorgeous fiancee Brianna Deutsch. It all got quite competitive and there were some accusations of cheating and skullduggery of that sort (hence the ridiculous mock serious faces in the photo) but in the end all we did was laugh and after it was all finished and team Hardcastle won by a point we were all friends again and spent the rest of the evening re-living it and enjoying it all again. It was a late night but a great night....and not a resentment in sight!!!

Hurt People Hurt People.....

2010-03-19T11:05:00.001-07:00

Laughter truly is the best medicine. I love to listen to people I love laughing more than any other sound in the world. It makes my ears tickle. Clare has been laughing a lot this week. She pretty much started the moment Kate Buckley arrived and hasn't really stopped. And then last night we all went over to the W Hotel in Hollywood to meet our lovely friend Rhys Ifans. He flew in to attend the premiere of his new movie that he stars in with Ben Stiller called Greenberg. We all had drinks at the W bar and then drove over to The Arclight to see the film. It was a great premiere and we saw so many people we knew. I absolutely loved the movie, it was so LA, with tiny little inside jokes and references that people who live here know and it felt like a great characterisation of this town. Clare laughed a lot and then we all headed over the after party at La Vida. We ended up hanging out with Rhys and Jonah Hill, who I have to say makes me laugh harder than anybody I can think of. His films are absolutely hilarious and it was so great to find out that he's such a nice guy too.Russell and he made a movie together called Get Me To The Greek which is out in the summer and I cannot wait to see it. So we can honestly say we did have a laugh last night. It's funny because people think dogs don't laugh because we don't make that funny noise, but rest assured, we are definitely laughing on the inside a lot of the time.
The film was funny but there was one line in it that made me think a lot, one of the people says "Hurt people hurt people" and I had to think about that for a while. Firstly to understand what it meant and then to ponder on whether it is true.
And I think it is. It seems as though in the people I know and have been hurt by, that they were all deeply hurt by others and seem to be passing that on. Like the hurt that was done to them damaged them and then they seem incapable of not hurting others in some weird divine retribution. It's sad really, and made me have a little more empathy for the people who have hurt me, I can forgive them now, but won't forget, or give them the opportunity to hurt me again. “I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in awhile and you must forgive them for that.” I just don't need to carry the resentment around with me anymore. And most of all I try to remember “Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before."

Ageing.....

2010-03-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

It's funny but lately we've been thinking a little about getting older....note I said Older rather than Old. It's a funny thing that we all face but don't really talk about that much or often. Getting old in LA can be particularly difficult as we are surrounded by youth and physical beauty that can constantly remind us. It's funny how there can sometimes be a moment when you suddenly realise you have gotten older, and it can be the smallest thing. Clare had one of those moments the other day. A guy she had met recently and become friends with sent her an e-mail calling her a "lovely lady" and it brought Clare up short. It was so funny to see those words because somewhere in Clare's mind, she's still 17 or 26 or 31 and when you're looking out from the inside, sometimes you don't feel any different so you forget you look different. Not old, but definitely older. Apparently like a lady, a woman, not a girl, and she had to face the facts. And she thought about it, and decided it was actually
OK.
I think the best way to deal with ageing is simply to keep telling yourself you're fabulous and try try try not to engage in acts of looking for things wrong, but focusing on what is right. THEN work on being fabulous, charming, funny and interesting to distract everyone else from your faults (not that anyone is remotely interested in your flaws, so keep them to yourself, please!) I find It works beautifully on babies, us dogs and people of either sex.
Cheaper than Botox and twice as a satisfying. Confidence is worth far more than beauty because a) it can keep on growing, b) it can be faked and c) it suggests hidden resources that people will be drawn to discover. So get yourself some confidence before your looks start to fade and you'll be just fine :) “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
So yesterday the geniusly funny Russell Brand came over to read Clare and Paul the chapter of his new book that includes an hilarious story about Paul in it. He sat outside and read the chapter as if he were acting it out and I am not sure I have ever heard anything funnier. I wonder what it would be like to look at life through his eyes, and now I know, and it is just hysterical. He is an amazing writer and just a very very good guy. It's always fun to see him.
The other good news is that Kate Buckley arrived yesterday. She is here for the weekend and for the premiere of Rhys Ifan's film with Ben Stiller so we should all have the best time ever. I shall keep you posted and end with this to remind you all....“The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.” xxxx

Live Purposefully....

2010-03-16T11:55:00.001-07:00

Well just when Clare had declared parties "not all that", and had started to think that all the fun in the world actually happens on walks in the canyon, what with all our new found friends, four-legged and two-legged, she only went to the best party EVER!!! Of course it was thrown by Sir Philip Green and it really was the most amazing and quite extraordinary and really fun night. He took over the entire garden of Soho House for dinner with forty friends to celebrate his birthday. We stood on the roof as guest after guest arrived....we talked to agent Bryan Lourd and Director Brett Ratner, were deliriously happy to see Ryan, Randy and Simon and Mezhgan as they arrived. Hung out with Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, Lionel and Nicole Richie, Brits Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden, Sylvester Stallone and Robert Earl, it was a Hollywood fiesta and we loved every second of it. Clare was so lucky to sit next to a really amazing guy and they discussed purpose for the whole evening. Purpose. Who knew that you could go to an amazing dinner like that, and then talk about deep and meaningful issues that made her think and want to do more and inspire her to change just a little bit more.It reminded her once again that “The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” It really is everything. I do believe that “Our minds are finite, and yet even in these circumstances of finitude we are surrounded by possibilities that are infinite, and the purpose of life is to grasp as much as we can out of that infinitude”.
That's what they spoke about, what that purpose is for them and how to instill or inspire that purpose in others. It honestly was the most unlikely encounter but one that was made more wonderful by the fact that it so rarely happens but actually why doesn't it? Two like minds and like souls meet and something amazing can happen in that moment. So that was our evening. Aside from that, it was the most amazing evening. Paul and Jason Statham ended up laughing so hard at some ridiculous nonsense, Natalie Cole sang Unforgettable which it most certainly was, and Tina ended up giving Philip the most amazing piece of art I'd ever seen. It was just beautiful and everyone had the most fantastic night.
So, to revise the decision, Canyon's are great, Parties are great, Life is great.......you just never know where you'll find the next treasure, except that it's usually where you are least looking for it......“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”

OBO

2010-03-14T18:34:00.001-07:00

One of the things that's very interesting about some people in this town is the phenomenon of OBO. It stands for Or Better Offer and it refers to those people who say that they will meet up with you or come to something that you've arranged and then cancel at the last minute because they get a better offer, or somebody more glamorous invites them somewhere and they drop you like a hot brick. I often think that as a behaviour it's a little short sighted if not a little hurtful. The problem is that there is only so many times that you are going to make plans with that person before realising that they are like that, and you stop inviting them altogether. I try as hard as I possibly can to make sure that if I say I am going to do something with somebody, I try to do it, regardless of what other things might then be going on. Fair weather friends are not really the kind we're looking for at this point in life so when it happens it's a lot easier these days to just shrug it off and move that person from "friend" to "acquaintance" without bitterness or rancour or disagreement.
That said, this week has been a great work week. We had some more amazing work news involving Paul's TV show here in the states and it's funny how we always remember where we are when we get great life-changing news like that. This time we were driving over Coldwater Canyon and got the call. Isn't it funny when you hear news and get the most amazing feeling from the end of your toes to the tip of your nose, like a tingle that makes you smile. It's a fabulous feeling, and we got it this week.
After that excitement we had a fabulous weekend. Clare and Paul went to dinner at Soho House a few nights in a row with different friends like Ross King and Dougray and Claire. Then on Sunday we had a farewell bon voyage lunch for Steven Cree who is going home. We invited a few different people that had become friends of his while he was here, it was a lovely lunch and we had a fantastic time with Matthew Rhys (the nicest actor in Hollywood) and had the treat of hanging out with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie who were also there having lunch which was fab. The hugely talented Max Beesley was playing piano in a jazz quartet and they sounded fantastic.
All in all a perfect weekend that ended up in the screening room where a bunch of us watched Hurt Locker.....not my favourite movie but we had fun regardless.....did I tell you how happy I am right now :))))))))))))))

Amazing Grace.....

2010-03-09T16:02:00.000-08:00

Sooo sorry it's taken me three days to post my Oscars blog. That's how tired we all were from four days of late nights and high heels (Clare not me). It is exhausting. Being social and endlessly talking and walking and saying hello and hanging out and smiling really can take it out of you. I am being a little silly of course because it is ridiculous to complain about late nights and socialising with real life all around us, but we work hard and sometimes that is easier for us than playing hard. Its a different skill set and we're out of practice.
I think it's all about balance and a little about Grace. Grace is something we aspire to have but often fall short of. Grace is behaving with dignity and a state of grace is where we all really want to live our lives as much as we can. I think especially when you are watching something like the oscars which is an endless beauty parade of people in their finery it often strikes me that “Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.” Grace is the real thing and whereas it is fairly hard to define it is easy to recognise when you look for it. I admire people with natural Grace and sometimes even just thinking about being in a state of grace can be enough to take you there. It's living life in the slipstream where you handle yourself well in situations that can ordinarily rattle you. Ernest Hemingway once said “By "guts" I mean, grace under pressure” and I think that's exactly when true grace reveals itself. And it's always beautiful to watch.So we headed off to Elton John's annual Oscar's viewing party with the word GRACE in our head and tried as hard as possible to live it. We were sitting on a great table with our friends Nick Candy and Neil Reading and beautiful Kelly Brooke. It was a very long evening that begins at 4pm, and we then eat an early dinner while watching the oscar telecast on big screens around the marquis. Hilariously our table got a little hungry and didn't feel like we had enough to eat so Nick had the genius idea to bribe our water to go out and grab us 10 InNout Burgers from a van down the street. We were the talk of the night, and other tables were so jealous as we demolished the burgers as they ate their Hollywood salads. We hung out with Si and Mezhgan and ended the evening with them laughing and talking until late.We saw a host of stars, some with grace and some without any at all, but we tried not to judge and loved looking at all the glitz and glamour swirling around us, it's just lucky it only happens once a year, as that's just about all the parties I can do for another few months......slept like a dog....“Learn to limit yourself; to content yourself with some definite work; dare to be what you are and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not; and to believe in your own individuality.”

Missing You.....

2010-03-08T20:06:00.001-08:00

So it's been a long and very tiring but very fun weekend. I mean we live in LA and it's Oscars weekend and it seems as though everybody famous who has ever been in a movie you've seen is walking around. There are stars everywhere you look, during the day and night. This week has been extra special because Nick Jones has opened the new LA Soho House and every night there was an amazing party there for one thing or another. We went every night, and then Saturday night we drove out to the airport and picked up Paul and went straight there again. It was a little crazy as there were so many people outside trying to get inside, including Tom Ford and Colin FIrth which was a bit surreal. We slipped in a side door and went up the staff elevator which was the most exciting thing as it all felt very naughty. Isn't it funny how much fun naughty things are to do. I love being naughty, I guess it's the thrill of knowing that you could get caught that makes it exciting but there is nothing like a bit of adrenalin and a racing heart.
So we spent all week around so many people. We hung out with actors Will Kemp (pictured below), our gorgeous friend Dougray Scott (above) and Claire Forlani and hilarious and beautiful Russell Brand, there was Max Beesley back in town, Ollie Trevena, Steven Cree.....they all came to check it out and hang out. But the funny thing is, that sometimes when you spend so much time with a lot of people, right in the middle of standing in a crowd, it's bizarre that you can be hit with the feeling of missing somebody so hard it knocks the wind out of you. Maybe not one person in particular, but just that thought of people you miss who are no longer in your life, out of your choice or their choice or just life choices, but you feel the loss so profoundly it hurts but then she reminds herself “You know somebody, and they cry for you. They stay awake at night and dream of you. I bet you never even know they do, but somebody's crying for you.” It works both ways.
Clare often stops and remembers where she was other Oscar years. You tend to remember that night and the things that happen on it, or don't happen, and sometimes it brings up regrets or yearning and that's a weird feeling. Like where she was last year and who she was with, or the worst oscar's night that she spent in a hospital, a memory that's still hard to bear.
But when that feeling hits you, all you can do is remind yourself that those times don't really exist anywhere anymore except in your mind, and you drag yourself back into the moment and focus on all that you do have and who you are with and love every moment, knowing that this may well be a night you'll remember forever too, as long as you're present for it. Life's for the living, there's no real point in looking back except to learn, so we are grateful for all the wonderful friends we hung out with the last few days.....here's to many more fabulous nights.....Oscar's blog tomorrow, have to get some sleep as we have one more pitch for Paul's show. Wish us luck :)

Just another party....

2010-03-05T14:44:00.000-08:00

So this weekend looms large....it's Oscar's weekend and there's a lot of pressure haha. Mainly everybody gets a little insecure and paranoid - there are so many parties and you begin to worry that the ones you are going to aren't THE ones and other people seem to be going to more parties and better parties - and then your head explodes!!! They are just parties. They're fun, but as far as I can see, they never changed anybody's lives. The dictionary definition for a party is "a group of people gathered together for pleasure", there - now it doesn't seem quite as stressful. As long as you are somewhere and having fun, there is no point at all wondering if there is somewhere better to be or somebody better to be with.
The best recommendation I can think of is just to surround yourself with as many people you love, trust and enjoy and the party has started. So that's what we are going to do and keep our expectations right sized and then you can never be disappointed. Disappointment sucks but if you don't get your hopes up too high about things, you just see them for what they are, then you don't have to experience that crushing feeling. You just dust yourself off and move on to the next thing. Always remembering that things are exactly the way they are meant to be right now.
We've had a great week. Sunday night we had the funniest evening ever. A whole bunch of us went up to Sunset Ranch on Beachwood for the dinner ride to celebrate Steven Cree's birthday.... Alex, Clare, Anna Friel, Sam Hoare, Ollie and about 10 other brits on horses heading over the hill as the sunset and watching the moon rise from horseback. It was such a fun thing to do. Clare rode a horse called Poseidon and he was the tallest horse in the stable so she had a pretty good view across the Santa Monica Mountains. We saw deer running in the moonlight and owls sitting in the trees and then we arrived at a great Mexican restaurant in Burbank and tied the horses up outside and ate until we were stuffed. No wonder Clare's horses was puffing on his way back over the hills. We sang songs and laughed and listened to Ollie complaining and telling his horse not to facebook him again or e-mail and to just lose his number. We were all cracking up.
We got home at midnight and I have never ever felt so tired. We climbed into bed and before Clare's head even hit the pillow Bentley was snoring like a trucker.....

First Impressions....

2010-03-01T15:25:00.000-08:00

Isn't it funny how you can know somebody a really long time and imagine that they are someone completely different to who they are. I find that people often miss out on other people because they make too quick a judgement about that person based on some very silly things. It's so easy to look at someone, meet them briefly and then decide that you know what they're like and who they are. Because very often, when you dig a little deeper, when you give somebody a chance and really get to know them, you can be so pleasantly surprised. I think it's what keeps people apart, focusing on the differences instead of the similarities, thinking that because you have seemingly little in common on the outside that your insides must be different. Dogs aren't really like that. When I go to the dog park I play with whatever dog wants to play and I don't base that decision based on what colour, size, age, religion or class they are. OBVIOUSLY. And I think we're happier and have more friends as a result.
It was Aesop who said that Appearances can be deceptive and they so often can, both ways really. Clare likes to say " What I
have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are." which I think is her way of saying that looks aren't everything. It's good to remember that andI think it's good to go from the belief that everybody can teach you something, that everybody is interesting and could potentially be a new friend, and to at least give somebody time so you can find out if you like each other and are a good fit. Clare tries, but even she gets suprised sometimes. And it's such a treat to find a new friend in a place you would least expect it. Just thanks to having a semi open mind and heart.
So this weekend was such fun. Saturday night we dropped in to The Palihouse for Matthew Rhys' annual St David's Day party which was so much fun. Lots of roast lamb and leeks and Dylan Thomas Cocktails.
Hilarious. Matthew was resplendent as ever in a kilt and there were so many people we knew there we nearly didn't get out in time for dinner with Simon, Ryan and Mezhgan at Ceconni's. Luckily we made it in time and had such a fabulous evening. When we finally got home we climbed into bed and Clare snuggled up with me and Bentley and we fell asleep all wrapped round each other. My favourite thing in the whole world is falling asleep listening to the breathing of people I love and knowing we're all safe and well for another night. Bliss. xxx Oh and just in case you were wondering what's up with the photos....Clare found the effects button on the iphoto library so everything has gone sepia and antique for now :) and that's Bentley wearing Ollie's cap !!

Happiness is contagious.....

2010-02-24T13:08:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about having lots of friends is that when they're happy and you love them, it makes you happy too, especially during those times when maybe nothing particularly fabulous is happening in your life. Surrounding yourself with happy, successful motivated people is one of the best ways to keep yourself the same way.
We have spent so much of this week around happy people that it really has been positively infectious - what a great thing to find out that happiness is contagious. It's going around and we have definitely caught it. Energy IS infectious - I know that one of the reasons this house is so happy stems from Paul. He is just about the happiest person I have ever met and because of that he makes everyone else laugh around him. It's so cool to see.
There is nothing in the world better to see than someone you love smiling so hard their face looks like it's going to break :) itreally is a joy to behold and it reminds me that when you're happy it's good to spread it around too. I worry sometimes that being TOO happy with my lot will annoy other people but I do think if people love you that they'll be excited too. It's important to share your blessings - when something amazing happens to a friend it gives me so much hope and totally reminds me that anything is possible and that another miracle is always just around the corner and that life gives and gives to you is you stay open to receiving. Much better to focus on that than anything you don't have yet. Or wonder why they have something you don't - be happy for them and before you know it, it will be your turn. Just keep the faith and enjoy the journey.
So this weekend was fabulous. We had dinner at Ceconni's with Simon and Mezhgan and had the loveliest, happiest most wonderful evening, it was so good that I was still smiling on Monday when we all got together at Philippe Chow's with some other really good friends we also love. We alll went to dinner with Sadie and gorgeous Oliver Trevena, who we've known for years and is always a joy to hang out with. He can brighten any cloudy day and makes us laugh more than anyone. We ate the best Chinese food and he'd booked the private Wine Cellar table for us so we ate surrounded by amazing bottles of wine and it nearly inspired paul to change the bookshelves we're building in the kitchen into wine shelves!!! The food and the company were perfect. This week we're out pitching Paul's new TV show to the networks and it's funny to be back in a room with the dream-crushers as I call agents and exec utives. Of course they are dream-makers too. It's just occasionally that you end up walking into a room so excited to be pitching whatever it is, only to find no interest in the project, but all you can do is pick yourself up and get excited all over again for the next people and somehow we have always found the right person who agrees and we end up at the right place. In the meantime, you can only work on not taking it personally and having faith that it will be what it will be and not pin all your hopes and life on it being anywhere in particular.
Throw it out there and see where it sticks. Everybody in the world has to hear the word NO quite a few times in their life and it never killed them either. So on we go.......good luck to us :) And here's my favourite quote again to get your day off to the right start...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

Staying open.....

2010-02-18T09:48:00.000-08:00

It's been a good week so far....and just continues to get better. It's funny how if you stay out of thinking about yourself, more and more miracles happen. Well maybe they're always happening anyway, but if you're stuck in self obsession you don't notice them as much. When you suddenly open your eyes and keep them open to what's wonderful and beautiful that that's all you see. When you're stuck in your thoughts about yourself and what you might not have or get, or what you want, you are just not as open to seeing everything you already have.
This week the incredible "guru" Genpo Roshi came to stay and he and Paul went to have dinner with Don Johnson which was so much fun as Paul is a huge Miami Vice fan. In the morning Clare and I were off to hike as usual when he asked if Clare wanted to do a process with him and Paul. She was in a hurry and didn't really think she had time but he said that it would change her life so she suddenly made time.
I am not sure exactly what happened in the process but she seems entirely changed. I think he sort of got her thinking-mind and non-thinking mind to live in better harmony and the strangest part of it was that at one point in the process both she and Paul got a headache at the same time and it's the first time she ever had such a physical manife station of a change happening inside her head, but it was incredibly powerful, and she has been calm and content and peaceful since it happened. It seems strange that she might have missed this amazing opportunity if she had just carried on her way, stuck in her routine and busy inside her head with all the reasons why she didn't have time. I guess the lesson is to stay awake to the opportunities for growth that are all around you. The answer is ALWAYS more spiritual growth so it's good to seize any gift that's offered.
So the weekend was good. We had a fabulous games night with the boys - Matthew Rhys, Freddie Windsor, Paul's McKenna and Sculfor, Alistair Macenzie Kevin Bishop and Steven Cree - and the wonderful girls, Sophie WInkleman, Emma Parker-Bowles, Kinvara Balfour, Sadie and Clare. It got a little raucous at times but all in good fun and I have never seen a group of people laugh as hard. Sunday was lunch at The Palihouse and they actually took Bentley along to see how he would do sitting in a restaurant which must have been hilarious. It actually went very well until Jason Statham called him over to his table to say hello and he nearly dragged Clare after him like a water skier through all the tables!!!!! That dog is strong now!!!
Monday was Presidents Day so we drove out to Malibu and had lunch at Geoffrey's which was fabulous in the glorious sunshine, then we dropped in to see our friends Bill Lawrence and Christa Miller on the way back. It was so incredible sitting overlooking the beach with the waves crashing and catching up with old friends. It was the perfect long weekend.
Tuesday night we watched The Brits and we were so happy for Robbie Williams, so well deserved. The Morning Sun video is one of his best ever I think and Paul listens to it all the time, or Starstruck when he's driving in his car, they're both incredibly beautiful songs....and loved the accoustic version of Bodies, reminded me of Pinball by Brian Protheroe, genius...

Principles.....

2010-02-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

So Clare is ridiculously happy right now, she cannot stop laughing and is just thrilled for her darling friend. It must be some pretty good news but for now I don't know what it is so I will have to wait and see if I can figure it out.
Meanwhile.... I have been watching people for quite some time now and it seems to me that they are kind of like dogs in that you kind of live your lives according to certain personal principles and that there are some that seem to work very well and serve you best. They're not really rules and certainly not set in stone but they're just there, underlying decisions and choices and behaviours, and it seems a life lived by practicing these in your affairs is a pretty good one.
From my perspective the most successful ones to live by seem to be - honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, love, justice, perseverance, spiritual awareness and service. This list seems to me to sum up a life worth living and if you make choices based on these principles that they're going to be the right ones and usually make you the happiest.
I guess as a dog I tend to specialise in Love, Willingness, Humility and Service but all the others are good too. It seems as though it's helpful to have certain guidelines to work from to avoid mistakes and going too far down the wrong or difficult or painful path but if your direction is based on these principles you're probably on the right road. “'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.”
This weekend has been so much fun. And definitely full of love and friends.
Saturday night we went round to a friend's house and had games night there for a change. It's funny how lately quite a few old friends, that we haven't seen in quite a while, friends that Clare has chosen not to be close to or spend much time around for one reason or another, have come back around. And it's funny how easy it is to forgive and forget these days. We're not much on bearing grudges and holding on to resentments. In the end they usually just hurt you and not the person you're resenting. And time really does heal a lot of silly wounds. Of course the big ones fester, but the little ones, well they heal up and you can't really even remember what they were about and all you do remember is the love which lasts far far longer than any hurt feelings or petty annoyances.
So they've slotted right back in where they were and somehow there is always space for more friends. SO on Sunday, while the rest of America gathered to watch the superbowl all the true Hollywood Brits were gathered at the Palihouse for a good old british roast and not a Colts or Saints t-shirt in sight. We just ate and laughed and had a great afternoon enjoying their weather but not their sport for once - Messrs Rhys, Feild, Cree, McKenna, Sculfor and Shaw flew the flag and had a jolly good afternoon. For fun Paul Sculfor gave Paul McKenna a masterclass in broody modelling looks, although he's an actor as well now, with three movies to his credit last year which is fantastic.
So excited that D'Arcy arrived today too so we have another wonderful old but great friend to hang out with for a while too. SO to sum up - “It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more 'manhood' to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”

Karma's a bitch....

2010-02-05T11:18:00.000-08:00

I am a big fan of karma. It's not a bad thing. The way I see it is that the universe has a way of giving people back what they put out. So you put out negativity, you get it back, if you talk badly about other people they'll talk badly about you, you're mean to people, people will be mean to you back. It's obvious really. I like to do as much as I can do to stock up some good karma in my karma bank. I try wherever I can to be kind, to speak kindly, to encourage and support, to see the good, to be positive.
Recently there have been a couple of incidents where two different people have been very mean, more than mean, actually cruel to good friends of ours. One of them is a work situation, where someone had to get a recommendation from somebody and because of that person's jealousy they sabotaged and gave a bad review and cost the person a job. And then I heard about somebody who is going out of their way to put somebody off a particular girl and encouraging them not to date her even though he likes her.
These are two of the most typical incidents of accruing bad karma. And oh how many times I have watched and seen it come back on that person in spades. I think it's far safer to stick to the old adage of, "if you don't have anything nice to say about somebody, then say nothing at all." It"s easily done. Just mind you own business, keep your side of the street clean, be nice. Unless there is a really really good reason to steer someone away from somebody else then I don't think you should. You might not like that person particularly, you might have issues with them but that's you, and in life I think it's better to just keep your negative opinions to yourself and it makes me really cross when I hear about people doing that when their only real agenda is their own ego and protecting their position without any real regard for any of the people concerned. Really how people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours so what can you do.
Life's not always fair, and sometimes there's nothing you can do to stop people saying mean things about you or other people. Sometimes you just have to sit back and watch them store up a whole pile of bad karma and just not get involved.
We have had a week full of all kinds of good karma in this house. Work continues to get better and better in 2010 and the house continues to be filled with the good and the kind and the talented.....
This week we had a great dinner at the house and then watched a couple of great movies with a bunch of friends who happen to be actors...... The gorgeous Matthew Rhys, JJ Feild, Steven Cree, Alistair Macenzie, oh and a couple of directors in the shape of Nick Moran and our own Alex Hardcastle. And the beautiful Sadie for good measure too. So we all cozied up in the screening room, sharing chairs and sharing the love and creating some pretty good karma.....isn't that what life's all about.....

Masalagate.....

2010-02-01T14:59:00.000-08:00

Well the newspapers have been busy with an enormous story. And it involves Curry. And Paul. And Clare......
It all began last week with a radio interview Paul did on Radio Five Live, probably at the end of three days of many interviews with Paul, having to say the same thing over and over again which I imagine gets tedious, was asked if he ever used his powers for evil. Well he gave a jokey reply about how years ago he had hypnotised a girlfriend who didn't really eat curry to try one and enjoy it. He said it in a funny way and I don't think it was meant to be taken all that seriously. But then it ended up in The Daily Mail, where they took it very seriously, and honestly if you read the comments below the article some other people took it very seriously as well.
The good news is that the girlfriend was Clare, she'd never tried curry and Paul just gave her a couple of suggestions that she might like it, and she did, as we all know, she even throws curry nights here at the house, and now everyone else loves it too!!!! So don't worry, if you did read The Sun today and worry about Paul being "evil", there are no victims here, only volunteers.
The funny thing about it is that Clare has recently been throwing herself into trying all sorts of new things. The phrase "contempt prior to investigation" is a philosophy she abhors, but accidentally sometimes practices. You know when you decide that something or somebody is not really for you, that you wouldn't like it, but then give it a go and discover it or they are the best thing ever. Weird that. So our new motto is "Give it a try" So many times you read about things that people swear by or love, and instead of thinking "Wow that sounds nice for them" we're now trying to give as many of them a go as possible. And a lot of them have turned out very well indeed. So, we are very grateful for Paul getting us to try Curry all those 19 years ago.....who knows how much less fun life would have been without a good chicken tikka masala.
In other news....of course it was Clare's birthday. She thought she was just going for a quiet lunch with Kate and Alex only to turn up on the patio of the Chateau to find a whole bunch of her favourite people there.....Stephen Moyer, JJ Feild, Sadie, Mezhgan and lovely Steven Cree, who is staying with us for a week as he's come over for pilot season. Saturday we hung outside and Clare practiced firing an air-rifle and managed to hit each can on the fence and yet again had a huge laugh doing something she'd never done before just to give it a go.....awesome.

Control Freak......

2010-01-25T08:48:00.000-08:00

I'm a dog, and dogs are by their very nature fairly easy going creatures. We are more than happy to just go with the flow and take life as it comes and we don't feel the need to control much at all - except when it comes to reminding our people to put food in the bowl at certain times of the day, or remind them that a walk in the canyon might be nice, but we're not really sticklers for schedules and don't get stressed out if we're running late or worry about who's going to be in the dog park today. We just turn up and see.
Humans are quite different. And Clare has suddenly realised after all these years, only just realised after all these years, that she's a little bit (hmmmmmm) of a control freak. Shock horror. It's pretty funny actually, well possibly not for the people closest to her who are always been coralled into the car so we're not late, which more often than not results in us being early!!! She gets a little hysterical if everything isn't according to plan, her plan, and she winds herself right up if it doesn't. It's mostly amusing to Paul. He's the most laid back easy going man in the world and his approach to it is to laugh a lot and tell her to keep her hair on which is always funny.
Of course some control is good. After all she gets a LOT done but she has realised recently that she would like to relax a little more and not have to be in charge of every single little detail of every single event that occurs for fear of it not going well. It is all fear based but remember “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”So Games Night was a good example. Clare was very keen for the evening to flow smoothly so she threw herself into distributing paper and pens, explaining the rules, choosing the teams, timing the rounds, until she was utterly exhausted. SO she just stopped trying to control it all and we had the most brilliant time playing Celebrity with Team Captains Stephen Fry and Alex Hardcastle battling it out with the help of Sophie WInkleman and Lord Freddie, super agents Billy Lazarus and Kate Buckley, actors Dave Walton, Sean Maguire and Matthew Rhys and the gorgeous girls Sadie, Suz and Mezhgan. I think the trick is to make certain arrange ments and then hand the rest of the evening over to God to sort out. He is really really good at that and funnily enough if you stop controlling everything, usually everything turns out just fine anyway. You just have to trust, to let go and let God, to hand it over, to pry your fingers off the controls and let somebody else drive for a while and have faith that the journey will be just as beautiful. So that's Clare's project for the week.....to let go. I hope she does ok.....it is her birthday on Wednesday and who knows what that will bring. Had a fabulous lunch yesterday with a ton of brits at the palihouse. The gorgeous JJ Feild is in town for a while, and Leona Lewis came, and Matthew Rhys (again, but we can never got enough of him) and Kate and Sadie and Mezhgan......all of our absolutely favourite people. And Clare didn't feel the need to control a thing.....hands off and how much more fun was it as a result. Heavenly.....

Oh and also I would love it if you have a moment to vote for Nick Hoult as best new actor in BAFTA by going to http://bafta.orange.co.uk/OrangeRisingStarAward/ or text Hoult to 82058 if you're in the UK......we so appreciate it.....he's a very good actor :) and it would mean a lot

Miracles....

2010-01-21T10:08:00.001-08:00

I believe in miracles. I really do. The dictionary defines a miracle as 1 : an extra ordinary event manifesting divine inter vention in human affairs 2 : an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment. I think the most amazing miracles that I see are profound changes in people in which they really do seem to get well or change at a deeply profound and meaningful level, and there is no denying that a change has taken place. I cannot explain how or why this could happen, except for some miraculous intervention. And it leaves me in awe. I think knowing that they can happen gives people hope and faith. Really anything is possible.
It's very funny because lately four of the best, most wonderful, funniest, loveliest guys we know, who always believed and said that they would never settle down and didn't believe in love and were happy being bachelors, suddenly have all found amazing, wonderful girls and have become engaged to them. It is the most wonderful thing to behold. It gives us all hope. Everybody is going to succumb to love sometime. You get struck by it when you're least expecting it and it somehow overcomes any argument you ever had for not falling in it. It's the greatest feeling in the world and everything seems better as a result of being in love. And it's weirdly contagious because seeing someone you adore so happy and complete and knowing that there is somebody perfect for everybody makes you happy too.
I love the Michael Buble song "Just Haven't Met You Yet" that he wrote for Luisana, it just sums it all up so perfectly. And it's funny to think that your soulmate, if you haven't met them yet, is out there going about their day, but that when you meet them it will change everything for both of you. It's a magical thing.
Wednesday night we went to the engagement party for Russell and Katy at Il Cielo and Clare got tears in her eyes seeing them together and so happy. It's such a beautiful heartwarming thing. And Katy is just amazing. He's won the girl lottery :) “Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and strengthening the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.”
Had dinner at Ceconni's again last night with John Branca and it was a fascinating dinner although Clare has finally had to succumb to wearing glasses as she can't read a thing without them now. She has officially turned into her mother as she is permanently asking "where are my glasses?" all through the day. Hilarious.

I think....therefore I am.....

2010-01-18T11:28:00.000-08:00

You know the wonderful thing about being a dog is all the brilliant thoughts we have during any given day. It's amazing what goes on in my mind and sometimes it makes me smile what funny things I come up with. The good thing is that I have learned that you don't always have to believe your thoughts, because quite often they're not even true. Or even if you do believe them, best not to act on them until you've checked out how crazy they are with somebody else. You are what you think. And what happens around you tends to reflect what you're imagining so it's important to try and think good thoughts as much as you can. Thoughts are powerful but I always tell myself that I am only ever one thought away from a magnificent and happy life. And so are you. Lately I've been imagining a future for myself full of all the good things I'd like to happen in the next few years. It's good to keep designing your time-line and filling it with amazing things and people. Clare got a great book for Christmas called "Where will you be 5 years from today?" which really encourages you to live your life on purpose and with purpose. It's really amazing what anybody can get done in 5 years - Michel angelo painted the Sistine Chapel, Columbus discovered a whole new world of North and South America, Shakespeare wrote Hamlet, Othello, King Lear, Macbeth and five other plays!!! Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos went from living in a tiny aprtment to being worth $10 billion, David Geffen, (pictured above with Paul) who we met in the Caribbean and was amazingly inspiring, founded Asylum Records in 1970 and signed The Eagles, Joni Mitchell and Bob Dylan to name just a few, and lastly Julia Childs left cookery school with an idea for a show and won an Emmy for it....ALL WITHIN FIVE YEARS......see what can be done.
Clare would love to be sitting at her show's table at The Golden Globes celebrating what she created and wrote within 5 years, and so many other dreams too, all of which are achievable within that time. So we've stopped procrastinating and are making every day count and throwing ourselves into this New Year with new enthusiasm. It's going amazingly well so far. For everybody in this house. So we'll just keep doing more of the same as the year unfolds.When we got back to LA, after all the sun and sea, we decided to head to the snow and went up to Big Bear for ski. It was amazing. One of the incredible things about LA is that on a hot sunny day you could either choose to go to the beach or the desert or the snow, all within a 90 minute drive or less. So cool.
Last night we went to dinner with the talented and awesome Kris Thykier to celebrate his new movie The Debt, which you have to go and see, it's fantastic and has some of my favourite actors in it. Look out for Jessica Chastain, who was at dinner, and is going to be a HUGE star, and Sam Worthington, who kind of already is!!! Our favourite Ben Silverman was also there so we ended up having another brilliant dinner surrounded by people we love and who inspire us.....so grateful....

Indulgence.....

2010-01-10T14:01:00.000-08:00

So we're back and everything feels strange. For a start, after two weeks on a boat, the land feels as though it's still wobbly. I never really found my sea legs, and every time I thought I had I lost them again. It's a strangely unsettling insecure feeling, as though you can't find solid ground under your feet and so the tiniest thing can make your knees buckle. It was the longest we have been away for ages and Clare is feeling it the most.....after so many days of jumping out of bed and running up to the top deck in a bikini and a sarong and not wearing shoes in all that time because of the boat, it must feel peculiar even to have clothes and heels on. Luckily LA is sunny so we don't have the shock of New York or London cold.
It's funny because we feel as if we've been away even longer than we have because this holiday we REALLY took a vacation. Life can be regimented and you can take discipline and self control to a certain extent but there are some times in life where you just have to indulge and this was one of them. Clare indulged in things that she usually denies herself, not in a bad way but in an entirely good way. Harmless indulgences like french fries, desserts, a deep sun tan like the kind she had when she was in her teens, a delicious crush that she enjoyed every minute of, listening to music that wasn't at all cool on her i-pod, not wearing makeup during the day, talking to people she might not ordinarily get to know because there's not usually time, letting her hair get blonde and salty, more desserts and french fries, not a single bit of working out in the gym, reading silly novels about silly people, sleeping past 7am because we didn't need to hike and sometimes lazing in bed until 9, not returning texts and e-mails that weren't urgent, flirting just for fun, gossiping, napping in the afternoon if she felt like it,
not bothering to change her nail polish, letting somebody else pack for her, dressing up for dinner.....so much indulgence and so much fun. "Indulgence rare to pleasures lendeth zest" oh yes it does!!!
On the last day the Captain asked Clare to pick the highlight of the trip and she couldn't really answer because there were so many amazing bits....almost like 7 holidays in one....but if she had to list highlights they would include - "The first glimpse of the boat which took my breath away as we got closer, New Year's Eve laughing all the way home, hanging on to the biscuit for dear life, swimming with the shark (or at least the looking for it afterwards :) the amazing colour of the water in the turtle bay, sailing to other islands sitting at the front of the boat with the wind and spray, driving the tender at full speed through the waves, Trivial Pursuit night, spending quality time with the coolest, most generous and gracious host in the world, all the fabulous crew especially 'The Great Dane', getting to visit some spectacular other boats, the plane ride home, love and friends for life.....and without naming any names....“We must live for the few who know and appreciate us, who judge and absolve us, and for whom we have the same affection and indulgence. The rest I look upon as a mere crowd, lively or sad, loyal or corrupt, from whom there is nothing to be expected but fleeting emotions, either pleasant or unpleasant, which leave no trace behind them.”

Heaven.....

2010-01-03T06:57:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR.....
I hope you had fun wherever you were. We had a perfect Christmas. Hiking early with Best Friends and then lunch at Chateau Marmont with Old Friends and now in heaven with Great Friends.
I know that heaven isn't really a place, it's a state of mind or a moment or a feeling, but having said that, there are some times in life where you look around you and know that what you're looking at is about as close as you'll get to heaven on this earth in this lifetime. I think that's where we are right now. We are a dot in the ocean sailing past tropical islands, through turquoise waters under azure blue skies and there's not a cloud in the sky. Practically. They say that "Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better" and if that's true then bring it on. The best part of it all is to be sharing this with friends. There is nothing like being thrown together in close quarters on a boat to bring you closer or tear you apart. Paul is having the time of his life. He's single and loving every minute of it. And Clare has thrown herself into the new year with every single bit of optimism, joy, happiness that she can muster. 2010 is going to be the best year yet.
In a way I am kind of glad 2009 is finally over. It wasn't my best year. We all made mistakes and although we learned from them, some of them hurt, and there was also the feeling that we should have known better and not have made some of those mistakes again. But sometimes you have to learn the hard way, and sometimes it takes a few knocks to finally get the point and climb out of the ring. Not defeated, just older and wiser. Life has a way of teaching you the things it needs to teach you when you're ready and it will never give you anything you're not strong enough to handle and the one thing you can be sure of is that when you finally get it then along comes the reward....
So here we are, relaxing and recharging our batteries before getting back to LA and back to work. Of course I miss things about home. I always do. But for now, there is nowhere I would rather be than curled up in a quiet corner with the sun on my face and the breeze in my fur.... And one final thought.... “Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend.” So true....

Sadness.....

2009-12-22T07:54:00.000-08:00

Isn't this blog ironic in hindsight. Who knew that we could go from such a happy house to one tinged with deep sadness so quickly. Basically in a moment. We went from four happy people and two dogs going for a christmas hike to suddenly being reminded how short life can be and how tragically and suddenly it can end and the faces of the people left behind will stay with me forever. The worst thing any bystander can do is get caught up in the drama of a tragedy and hijack other people's grief so I will only say that my heart and condolences and deep sympathy go out to her family and loved ones. Enough Said....

So things have been difficult since then but strangely everybody has been so loving and more appreciative of the small things. Alex flew off to London later that day and sent reports back of just how cold it really feels there after our balmy weather here. As it was Alex's last day we decided to go to The Palihouse again for their Brit lunch. It's just fabulous. It's kind of like being in Chelsea on a weekend with British newspapers and bloody mary's and roast beef. So we had a pre christmas lunch with the Brits who are left, Max and Sean and Alex and the wonderful Martyn Lawrence, the greatest interior designer in town who is currently transforming Paul's bedroom which looks fab

One of the best things about living here in this town is that we get the dvd's of all the movies that are up for consideration for awards, so at the moment the shelves are piled high with movies to watch so we spend out evenings cosy in the screening room watching fabulous films. I love movies so much, although strangely we were all in agreement that we only wanted to watch uplifting happy films as there was too much sadness too close by. And I guess that's all you can do when tragedy strikes. Surround yourself with people that you love and hold dear and cherish life and love. I know it's easy to say that we should live every day as if it were our last, but the philosophy is sound. Hugh and Paul were talking again about the happiness book and how you should never postpone your happiness until.....just be happy now. We all need reminding of that. So with that in mind I send love and thanks to everyone who took the time to send kind gentle emails. This is such a wonderful time of year, and really we are all so so lucky to be part of this wonderful journey together. I thank God for that. God bless.

Happiness.....

2009-12-17T11:12:00.000-08:00

So it's really fun in the house at the moment. One of Paul's writing partners is here Hugh Wilbourn and he and Paul are working on the new book I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY. It's a book i've been waiting a while for because Happiness is one of my favourite emotions so I'd love to know more about it. The funny thing is that when paul was writing I CAN MAKE YOU SLEEP he was always taking naps and falling asleep everywhere and now he is just HAPPY. He's happy all over the house, all over the canyon, all over restaurants in LA. And the good news is that Happiness is infectious. We've all caught it. So it's already true. Paul can make you happy, at the very least he makes us all happy and that's a fact.
I have always believed that happiness is a choice. And it always baffles me that some people choose to be miserable and down. It just seems to be what they prefer. We know somebody like that. We just got a email from them. It was about a work thing but they had to tell us that they were feeling down. Hey, everybody gets down sometimes, I get down, Clare gets down (Paul not so much) and I am all for cheering somebody up when they're occasionally down. But ALL THE TIME - that's when you have to look at yourself and your life and make some changes. What I don't understand is if you're miserable about your life or relationship or situation, then it's your respons ibility to change it and make it better. Because you can. It is entirely within your power to change everything. Unless you like being miserable. If you don't then do something about it. Every single morning when you wake up you have a choice, and you can decide to focus on your blessings and be grateful, or just wallow in what life hasn't given you. If your career isn't fulfilling you and you are not getting anywhere with it, perhaps the universe is trying to tell you to try something else. To put your talent and God given gifts into something else and to stop wasting your life away hoping and wishing. This is your one life. Live life to the full and suck it dry. PLEASE.
So on to happier things and people......we're still winding down. Paul and Alex are getting ready to go back to England for Christmas and Clare is going to stay here and hang out with us and some other lovely friends who are going to be here too. Clare's lovely friend is going to stay here on Christmas Eve so they wake up together on the big day and open presents and hang out. Not do anything that special, just share the day and have as much fun as possible. We'll probably go and see a movie and have some lunch and then Clare's going to spend a couple of days preparing for her big Caribbean vacation which she is so excited about it's ridiculous. Only 10 days to go.
Off to Bonnie Hunt show now to film an hour about New Year's Resolutions and how to keep them. One of mine is TO CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY in 2010 every time I can......

NO and THANK YOU.....

2009-12-09T15:37:00.000-08:00

Such an easy word to write, spell....but golly sometimes it's so hard to say NO. Sometimes you don't want to say no because you're worried about hurting someone's feelings, or worried that they won't like you if you do say no, or you just say yes because it's easier and then resent the other person while you are doing something you wish you weren't. So much easier to learn to say no. I think setting boundaries is like a muscle and you need to keep exercising it or it will atrophy. When somebody does something that's not ok, hurts your feelings or just plain annoys you, then you need to practice communicating that as well as you possibly can. And that doesn't mean waiting until you're so angry that it comes out in a great big explosion. Before it builds to that point, I try and point out whatever behaviour is annoying and to try and find a compromise or solution. Everybody annoys everybody sometimes. that's life, but nip it in the bud and you'll be much happier if you do.
'The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us. A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend ourselves. That we have not only the right, but the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly, and honestly. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it is necessary. It is impossible to learn to be Loving to ourselves without owning our self - and owning our rights and responsibilities as co-creators of our lives."
People Pleasing KILLS!!! So there.....
On to happier thoughts. With the house full of the christmas spirit and the time flying by towards the big day it's always a good time to stop and look back on the year and count your blessings and gifts. So many wonderful ones this year, but even just the thought of turning your mind to gratitude beats sitting around staring at whatever it is that you don't have right now. There are always going to be things you don't have and still want but don't really need. That's the human condition. Always wanting more of whatever you have and wondering how to get a little of what you haven't got. So I make a list of the things I treasure. For an example Clare's list looks a little like this right now.......amazing girlfriends, like Sadie, Emma, Mich, 3Kate's, the boys Paul and Al - a wonderful home in a fabulous place - a support system, Seano, Lucinda, Tyler, Johnny and Julie - a goal - a finished Sitcom pilot written this year - the end of a relationship that was unfulfilling (endings are good beginnings too) - two incredible vacations (thank you SC) - a renewed enthusiasm for being healthy - surviving my summer sabatical - so many wonderful memories of bbq's and new friends - getting rid of dead wood and the non-contributors of life -meeting some incredible and like minded, motivated, enthusiastic, talented people - starting work on another American Show - Bentley Love growing into a wonderful dog - and a deeper conscious contact with God. That's quite a list.....mine is mainly Chews, Chicken, Rice, Walks, Sofa, Bed, Toys.....
So tonight to further celebrate the christmas season, we had a few people over for crackers, tree, fire, games and CURRY. It was a huge hit. Steve, Chris, Sadie, Matthew, Mezhgan, Alex, Sophie, Johnny, Ebe, Emma F and the fabulous Helen Fielding who wrote Bridget Jones Diary and is our next door neighbour, all gathered round to listen to some Wizard, Mud and Slade for the Christmas bash. The weather cooperated and was freezing cold and it really was the most fun evening round the fire. Soooooo loving this season to be jolly....slept like a log....

Preparation is key....

2009-12-07T08:49:00.000-08:00

What a fun weekend. It started on Friday with a fabulous dinner at Il Sole with Alex, Paul and Clare. I honestly think Il Sole is the best food in LA and it is always such a treat to go there. We had such fun and they spent the evening talking about work and all the differnt things that are going on at the moment. Alex has finished filming his show now and is moving on to direct more Parks and Rec which is such a great show. Paul and Clare spent the week filming some apps which are brilliant little movies where Paul speaks to you on your i-phone or whatever and helps you with whatever problem you might be having at the time. Last week we filmed a few of them in the house and and Clare stood in as the hand model to demonstrate how it works on film. So the great part is that work is going amazingly well and everyone in this house is loving what they're doing which makes it even better.
I read something the other day that made me think - “Despair is most often the offspring of ill-preparedness” and I think that's very true. With only three weeks to go before the big vacation Clare is already preparing. That is she is working out like a demon to get in good shape. Life works better if you do your preparation, it's the same whether it's for a work project or writing project or even for a vacation. Just putting all the elements in place in advance so that you can have the best time possible when you're there. Then you don't have anything to worry about. All the bad dreams I have at night are about showing up for something and not having prepared for it and then being terrified I don't know what to do, it must go back to something that happened to me as a puppy, but as a result I take the time to prepare now and life is better as a result. “Success always comes when preparation meets opportunity” so I guess the message is to prepare yourself for wonderful, exciting things to happen and wait for the opportunity to enjoy them. If you prepare yourself for the worst all the time, I have a feeling that's what you'll get.
The rest of the weekend, with Alex away in San Francisco, Clare and Paul prepared for Christmas and went and bought a ton of decorations and a 15 foot tree for the house and look at how it turned out. Now all we have to do is convince Bentley not to pee on it!!! We also put a pile of logs on the fire and have it roaring in the hearth to celebrate this wonderful cold spell in LA. What a treat.
Sunday we had the best lunch at The Pally House, they do a Brit lunch and we had a huge table of Brits and Shepherds Pie, Fish and Chips, Roast Beef, oh it was fantastic, and they let dogs in too. Heaven.
Hope you all had a good weekend, PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE BEST YEAR OF YOUR LIFE, COMING UP IN A FEW WEEKS.....and then watch it happen.

Happy and Healthy

2009-12-03T17:50:00.000-08:00

One of the best thing in the world is to have a gang.....dogs love travelling in packs and I think people love being in a gang. It's the greatest feeling of belonging and connection to be able to find a group of like minded and similar spirited people that you can hang out with share this journey with, it makes it all more fun. People like to be in tribes. Like Clare goes to the gym everyday and she was talking about how it feels good to walk in and have her special key fob to get in and when she's lined up with the other cars leaving the gym there is a little nod of recognition from the others in the tribe who have just spent an hour or so doing something healthy and positive in their lives.
Going to the gym and exercising is one thing that is a sign of a healthy life but I have been watching people and I think I have figured out what a healthy life and a healthy person looks like because they do certain things that give them away. Here is the list of things that people do to make their life healthy....They commune with nature regularly, they pray and meditate, they take care of themselves (like eating well and showering and dressing nicely), they take classes, they exercise, they express creativity, they schedule time to see friends and socially interact, they have commitments and they show up for them, they do a job that they enjoy and value, they leave their houses everyday, they ask for help and support when they need it, they call people and answer the phone, they are honest with themselves and others, they have a higher power, they play games or sports, they tell themselves nice things about themselves....which I suppose could be called affirmations, they don't cultivate relationships with people who are unhealthy....
I am sure there are a lot more things but these are the ones that I have noticed and I think contribute to people being happy and content, I may be wrong, I'm a dog after all, but I think these are all good signs.
So far the week's been good. We went to the premiere of Up In The Air with the gorgeous Mr George himself and it was a wonderful film. In case you hadn't guessed it, Mr Clooney just happens to be the coolest, funniest, nicest.....oh you know the rest. We all enjoyed the evening and took over the entire row in the Westwood movie theatre which is my favourite cinema in LA. There was a great party afterwards at The Beverly Hilton and then it was home to bed because we were all so tired. It was a really fun and perfect night and I recommend the movie to everyone. Slept like a dog.......

Happy Thanksgiving......

2009-11-26T17:50:00.000-08:00

If I had to sum up the philosophy of this blog and of my life it is contained in this beautiful text that I got from our friend Buckley yesterday " Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." Isn't that so true.
So this week was full of good things. Last night we discovered a fabulous, delicious Indian Restaurant in LA. We've been here for 3 years and it's taken all that time to find the perfect indian. We had a feast. It is called Chakra and is on Doheney. Apparently Michael Jackson had dinner there a couple of weeks before he died and apparently he often ordered take-away food from there. It was so good and our waiter was so knowledgeable and helpful. It made the evening even more enjoyable. Clare often tells this story about one of the wonderful pieces of advice her father gave her before he died. He was in the restaurant and wine business and he always told Clare to watch how people treat the people that are waiting on them, because you see the real them then. If you're on a date and just getting to know someone, they may well try extra hard to be charming and gracious to you to impress you but if they're rude or short or condes cending to your waiter then you should pay attention to that. I think that's good advice.
Something else I have learnt recently... I was listening to somebody talking about how they were scared about a certain situation in their life and so nervous about doing this particular thing and then Paul repeated this genius thing that he heard somewhere, that fear is 10 miles high and 10 miles wide but only one inch high, so you always just have to walk through it. You will see that it usually wasn't nearly as scary as you thought it was going to be. Paul went away last weekend to do this amazing four day course in Seattle, I'm not sure exactly what it was called or what they teach there but boy did he come back a different person. I think the essence of what they teach is that everything is just a thought, that you're not really scared or insecure, you just think you are, which makes perfect sense to me. So I am just going to think I'm happy, fulfilled and blessed, and you know what, I actually am.
So we spent Thanksgiving at The Peninsula Hotel and it was a perfect day.....perfect end to a perfect week.....HAPPY THANKSGIVING....

All you can eat.....

2009-11-19T21:10:00.000-08:00

Golly this week has been so busy. Clare and Paul had lot of work meetings and all of it was positive and uplifting. Today was Alex's birthday, but he was working all day and evening so we all went to dinner at Il Sole last night to celebrate and then gave our presents to him before watching a marathon of 30 Rock, our favourite show of the moment. It was fun and we all just celebrated finding and having each other in our lives. It really is something to be grateful for.
Today Paul filmed Bonnie Hunt Show over in Culver City. One of the things Clare hates about going to studios is that there is food everywhere. They fill the dressing room with snacks, fruit, cookies, cakes, candies......and when you combine that with boredom and a lot of sitting around waiting, and nerves for whether or not the filming will go well, you are in for temptation hell. Clare did pick a bit and then gave up for the day and just ate whatever she wanted. The most fun thing about doing Bonnie Hunt is that it's on the same lot as Scrubs and Cougar Town. Both of which are created by our dear friend Bill Lawrence. His wife Christa Miller is one of Clare's oldest friends, Clare was bridesmaid at their wedding, and we adore them both. "There are people you meet who enrich your life, there are people you meet who steal parts of your life. And there are people you meet who, in one way or another, save you." For Clare, Christa is one of those special people.
Bill is an amazingly talented writer and Christa is a brilliant actress. Although embarassingly we had to admit we hadn't see Cougar Town, but that's probably because Clare has been quite the cougar herself so didn't really care to watch one on TV!
Anyway it was just the best thing in the world to see them both and catch up and make plans for the future. They are good people and it is always always great to hang out with them.
So Bonnie Hunt was hilarious and we got to also catch up with Nigel Lythgoe from So You Think You Can Dance. Clare has known him for years as well as he was the producer of Gladiators in England when her sister Kate was the Gladiator Zodiac. He has done so well and it was great to see him too. It is so strange how in life people seem to pop up time and time again. It's like they're just meant to be in your life and the universe keeps putting them there, even when you move and change and grow, there they are. It is strangely comforting and makes me feel like there is something bigger than me in charge, which is a great relief to me.
Here is the link to the Bonnie Hunt show piece http://www.vmsdigital.com/download/newsdigital/ingestedfile
/wmv480/TNY124408_01.wmv

Liar Liar Pants on Fire.....

2009-11-12T17:19:00.000-08:00

We've had a weird week. We found out that somebody we know has been lying to us and it really sucked. Dogs don't lie. We wag our tails when we like something and we growl when we don't. We don't cheat, lie, manipulate, use or withhold information. Not like some people. It seems strange to me. I think it's so strange that some people can lie and lie, even when they get totally caught out, they carry on lying. Somehow I think there's something much more commendable about admitting the truth and taking responsibility. I think that's important if you have any intention of changing and trying to do better in the future. But, some people can't help themselves. I'm not sure they'd even recognise the truth if it bit them on the butt.......
It reminds me of the story Paul sometimes tells about the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion needs to get across the river and sees a frog sitting on a lily pad and he asks the frog to carry him across on his back. The frog says no, he says he's worried that the scorpion will sting him. The scorpion pleads some more and tells the frog that he won't, he promises that he won't. Finally the frog agrees and carried the scorpion across the river and to the bank on the other side. When the scorpion climbs off on to dry land it turns and stings the frog. As the frog dies he asks the scorpion why he did it. The scorpion says "I'm a scoprion, that's what I do, I can't help myself." So carry on lying, it doesn't matter, we know the truth, everybody knows the truth.
I think all you can do when it happens to you is to find forgiveness and some sort of sympathy for them. How awful to have to live a lie day in and day out to others, and probably to yourself too. Pretending to be something that you're not all the time. How can you ever love yourself, or even like yourself. The only way to happiness is to be true to yourself and the people you love and who love you. The truth will set you free. If you can tell it.
So that's all I'm going to say about that matter. I won't spend another second of my life thinking about it. On to happier things. Paul is still in London but right before he left he had the wonderful healer Satish to the house and he did his amazing magic as usual. Satish ever helped Bentley when he was sick. He is an amazing magical loving being and we all adore him. So many exciting things are happening right now and we couldn't be more thrilled. What an amazingly magical time this is........

Ageing gracefully.....

2009-11-09T08:54:00.000-08:00

So this weekend was Paul's birthday and it was so much fun. Birthdays are bittersweet as you get older...they are fun, and a celebration, but they're also a reminder that we are another year older, but the sweet part is that I believe we are also another year wiser. Lately we have had a few situations that have reminded us that youth and the folly of youth is something we are grateful to have left behind. Bentley is so funny, he makes mistakes and gets into all sorts of trouble based entirely on his age and exuberance. He hasn't yet learned those lessons we learn, often the hard way and with a great deal of pain.
Young people don't have that experience yet and so they make decisions and choices based on arrogance and the assumption that what they have, there will be more of, better of, different of...and sometimes that was your best chance for happiness and success and you walked away from it, you threw it away. Clare treasures those people in her life now that are kind, selfless, loving, giving and wonderful mainly because she has realised that they are few and far between and she has her own regrets for treating some people badly before she learned to appreciate how precious they were.
She did her own fair share of walking away from the best shot at a great life thinking she could do better by herself and then finding out that she couldn't. Those people are your "solids", they're the people you cherish and still smile about when you think of them and to discard them is just crazy. With age you learn what's important and what's valuable, and people that invest in you, love you, want to help and nurture you are the greatest gift life can ever give you so you should treat them with kindness, appreciate them, be grateful for them everyday and do what you can to hang on to them and not to hurt them with thoughtlessness and the pursuit of excitement elsewhere. Having lived quite a lot of life now, excitement really is not all it's cracked up to be, it's so momentary and fades so quickly, better to hang on to real life and real love than the promise of it packaged in a glitzy wrapper that two days later is just trash. But no-one can teach you any of this until you are ready to learn it and sometimes then it's too late.
So I guess you live and you learn, you learn through living longer, and most of all you learn the true value of things. You learn that some things that look wonderful actually turn out to be worthless and you learn that some things you should treasure with all your heart and soul until the day you die, like Paul. Definitely Paul.
So the birthday BBQ was fabulous......Max and Dougray and Clare and Sean and Martyn and Lord Freddie and Sophie and on and on with our favourite people. We had dinners at Dan Tanna's and BLT and they all included candles and cake. Oh and Thursday night we went to the premiere of A Single Man, the new Tom Ford movie, starring Colin Firth and our own Nicholas Hoult, who has never looked more handsome, it was a fabulous night and the images stayed with me for the rest of the week, images of love lost and sad hearts and hopes dashed, it was so beautiful, I hope you get to see it. Slept like a peaceful, happy, calm and relieved dog......

Christmas already....

2009-11-04T09:08:00.001-08:00

So it's 96 degrees here and they have the christmas cups and Peppermint and Pumpkin Lattes at Starbucks already. The lights are up on Rodeo Drive and any minute now Santa will be climbing down the chimney....except we don't have a chimney and it's only November 3rd. That can't be right??? Appparently CHristmas is here. So Happy Christmas. It's strange how the weather here confuses everything We're getting up really early to hike as Bentley didn't understand the concept of the clocks going back so he wakes us up at six and we sort of have to hike then as he lays on the floor crying until we go. Plus it really is too hot if we leave it to eight which is really nine. More confusion.
Apart from that the week is off to a good start. Yesterday was a hard day, simply because we got our hopes up about something and then the meeting was postponed and we were a little disappointed. But I tried to remind myself that God's delay isn't God's denial. He's just asking us to practice a bit of patience. But I'm a dog and I kind of want everything NOW. I don't really like waiting. I would much rather I have things in my time than God's time, but it's OK. And the best thing is that I have faith it will all happen in the right time. So in the meantime we are keeping busy. Clare is doing Spin Classes, Pilates one on one, yoga, and we hike everyday and she is amazed how quickly everything seems to have snapped back into shape. As you get older you get softer, on the outside and the inside, so you have to work a bit harder to keep everything from heading south! And the good news is we're having fun doing it. She loves her new gym and loves walking in there with her yoga mat and her membership key fob, she feels so good about herself and that's the best thing.
Every single thing you can do to make yourself feel good is worth it, and they sort of accumulate and suddenly you're walking around happy and healthy and whole and you stop looking for things outside to complete you. It really is an inside job. It's like the story at the beginning of The Power Of Now about a beggar who had been sitting by the side of a road for thirty years. One day he asked a stranger for some change and the stranger told him he had nothing to give him but asked him what was in the box he was sitting on. He replied that it was just an old box he'd been sitting on forever but he'd never actually looked inside. The stranger told him to look and when he did he found that it was filled with gold. Nobody can give you anything, except tell you to look inside, not a box, but inside yourself......it's amazing what you'll find......

Buckley is back.....

2009-11-01T17:13:00.001-08:00

So this weekend our best girlfriend in the world Kate Buckley came to stay. All the way from London just to come visit and hang out and be our friend. That is amazing. Kate is the easiest person in the world to spend time with. She can talk to anybody and fit into any situation so she is just simply a joy. And I love her and she is just the best friend anybody in the world could have. So thank you Buckers.
She arrived on Thursday evening and we went straight over the hill to watch a taping of Alex's show 100 Questions. We were able to be on the set and stand on the floor and watch it being filmed which was awesome. It was fantastic watching Alex do what he does. We were all so proud. We brought Nick Hoult with us and then we all went to dinner at Koi which was such such fun. Friday evening was Nick's night. He's a client of Kate's and a really talented and amazing actor, as well as just about the nicest guy you could ever ever meet. So he came up to the house and we all set off for The Roosevelt Hotel for Variety Magazine's top ten actors to watch and Nick was one of them. Hurrah. When they announced his name we all cheered so loudly and then we went off to celebrate with Nick's US Agent, and my favourite American agent Billy Lazarus, at The Street.
The food was fantastic and it was such a fun dinner. They are the best company and we didn't stop laughing all night. Saturday was so hot and Kate and I had a lazy sunny morning before we all headed over to Ceconni's for lunch with Ryan and top photographer Steve Shaw, who we also love. We had the best lunch, mainly because the chef was in possession of the biggest white truffle we had ever seen so we had it shaved over everything we ate and nearly died of happiness. The first bite of our truffle pizza was like heaven in a taste.
After lunch we headed home and sat around the pool with Bentley
and Ben SIlverman joined us to have some Halloween fun. It was such a great afternoon. Kate and Alex and Nick and and and....the whole gang. We hung out and laughed and decided to all go to the halloween party at the sky bar. Nick and Alex weren't sure what to wear so Clare and Buckley decorated them much to everyone's amusement and as you can see Al ended up as the abominable snowman.... It was the best Halloween I can ever remember having and we all had such a good time.
And then it was Sunday and after a lazy day and brunch at The Chateau and a quick shop at Saks Fifth Ave it was back to the airport and goodbye to our lovely friend. Love and Friends, that's everything. LOVE AND FRIENDS......

Questions and Answers, Honestly.....

2009-10-26T16:12:00.000-07:00

Oh wow U2 was incredible. So fabulous. And the audience was almost as good as the show. David Beckham, Barbra Streisand, Demi Moore, Pierce Brosnan....wherever you turned there was another famous face. But the faces everyone was looking at were on the stage....and they didn't let us down. What an incredible show, and the t-shirt Clare bought is without doubt the best tour t-shirt she ever ever owned. It's so beautiful. So we have had so many e-mails lately asking different questions about Clare and Life in general so I thought we would work our way through some of them. OK firstly - "Have you guys ever met anybody who writes to you from the blog?" Yes, a few people actually. We have made some of the best friends you can imagine through writing this blog and they have seen us through some difficult times by being so amazingly loving and supportive. Amazing. "Does Clare have any regrets?" Oh of course, life is full of regrets, but it's what you do with them I guess. There is no point in living in them. Accept them and move along. "Do you get on with Bentley?" I took a while to warm to him completely and even now he can be a little annoying but I know he has a good heart and soul, so yes I would say we do get along. I love play-fighting with him in the canyon and I always manage to run him in circles until he falls on his bottom. 'What does Clare think of Robbie's new album?" Loves loves loves it, of course...he could sing anything and it would make her happy, just the sound of his voice makes her smile, and I think that's the same for most fans. "You Know Me" is Clare's favourite, mine is "Superblind", I listen to that all the time, love the words. He really is an incredible talent and a thoroughly good guy. "Has Clare ever had any work done?" A little personal, but in the name of sharing this journey with you guys, here goes....she does botox and recently had some filler in her smile lines and she had lipo on her muffin tops a while back and her bunyons removed on her feet, oh and those too.... "Who is Clare's best friend?" She has three, it's a triumverate\trifector...Paul obviously, and Alex and Kate. She thanks God for them every day. "Does the blog always reflect what you are feeling, it's hard to believe somebody is always so happy and positive?" Are you reading a different blog haha. No I don't think it is, when I write it I try try try to find the positive and focus on that and by doing that for the blog I guess it then actually does change the way I feel too. "What is the one thing about yourself you'd like to change?" My whiskers, I think they're a little short, Clare says she'd be quieter and less excitable, she says she is like a golden retriever jumping up on everyone going crazy and she'd like to be more like a siamese cat, slinky and aloof - more Kate Beckinsale or Katy Perry. "Do you have any beauty secrets??" Well I presume this one is for Clare too. She does have a lot of friends who are famous for being beautiful and these are a couple of secrets she has got from them.....Apricot Scrub - Exfoliate your face and neck and chest every time you shower, your skin will feel soft and clean....the best and most natural makeup is made by Me by (me)zhgan, it is so good it's ridiculous, especially use the concealer and foundation, and the brushes are the best.....add to that - get lots of sleep and get into drinking Coconut Water, its incredible and 15 times more hydrating than actual water.
So that's it for now. What a great week. Halloween fun tonight. Will tell you all about it tomorrow.

Happy Weekend....

2009-10-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

So this weekend has been fabulous so far......I was thinking some more about yesterday's topic and realised I had focused on what the problem with some people is, rather than pondering the solution. It's always better to live in the solution than the problem so I turned back to Eckhart Tolle for some answers. He thinks, and I agree with him, that the way to be happy, the way to be at peace, is to make peace with the present moment. The three words that are the keys to happiness are ONE WITH LIFE. And the only thing that stops you being one with life, and the moment that you're in now, is the ego. The ego loves its resentment of reality and it constantly postpones your happiness by giving reasons for why things are not right yet. But they really are. Everything is right now. I think that's his point. It's not always easy to do but when you get it, when you suddenly realise that all you have is now, and that all the other stories you're telling yourself that are stopping you from being the happiest you can be, they're just thoughts. They really don't exist anywhere except in your mind. Dogs live in the moment, in the here and now, and rarely dwell or fret on the future or the past. They just be. I think that's why we're such happy creatures. Give it a go. Think like a dog for a week. I think you'll like it.
So the rest of the weekend was just as good. It's warm and sunny here right now and we are making the most of a beautiful October. Yesterday we drove over the hill to Kevin Bishop's for a fab barbeque. Paul has spent all week watching him on Youtube and spent most of the afternoon repeating his funniest sketches which I hope he didn't mind too much :) Alex and Sean came too and the fabulous Max Beesley and Chris Dyson, the best real estate agent in LA who found this house for us. Sean and Max really are two of the best guys you could ever hope to have as friends. They make me laugh and I know I could count on them to be there if I was ever in trouble, which is the best qualities of a friend.
In the evening Paul and Clare went to The Hollywood Bowl to see Barry Manilow. Yes, you read that right. Clare has always wanted to see him and Paul was so sweet to take her, and then he enjoyed it too. It was the first time Barry played there and with the full orchestra the songs sounded as good as they ever will be. Of course he did Could It Be Magic which is one of Clare's favourites....she saw Take That perform their version of it in a TV Studio back in 1993 when Paul was on a New Year's show with them and it blew her away. I cannot believe how long ago that was....hilarious. Memories are so much fun......here's to many more....U2 Tonight HURRAH

Thinking.....

2009-10-23T09:11:00.000-07:00

You know it's interesting being a dog. I watch people carefully and I think I have got to the root of what makes them discontent and unhappy. It seems to me that dogs don't try and control other dogs for the sake of their own peace of mind and happiness. That is, what another dog does or doesn't do, hardly effects me at all, it's not really any of my business. I meet a dog, have a game and play and make friends and then they go on their way and I don't spend too much time thinking about them or what they're doing after that. It makes for an easier life. But people are different, and thanks to Eckhart Tolle I figured out that worrying about what other people are doing is a big cause of unhappiness....these are the underlying thoughts involved -
1 You should do this or that so that I can be happy
2 Something you did, said or failed to do is preventing me from being happy
3 What you are doing or are failing to do is preventing me from being happy.
And it's not just what other people do, it's circumstances also that make people resentful....
1 There is something that needs to happen in my life before I can be happy
2 Something happened in the past that should not have happened
3 Something is happening now that should not be happening.
And people sit around and stress and worry and think about these things too much and it all conspires to give people an underlying sense of discontent which dogs don't understand.
I think the first helpful thing is to realise and acknowledge that you do that, and then try and stop doing it. Clare is giving it her best shot this week. Focusing on what she does have, on what has happened that is good, on things in the past that are positive and even to put a better perspective on the negative. One of the best ways to do this is to get out of your head. And not that way. That's a short term and silly way to do it. The best way is to do something - go to the gym and do a class or walk in nature or help somebody else, or tidy out a closet.....anything that gets you out of sitting around dwelling on this stuff. It is incredible how much happier you can be if you try.
Last night we had a great evening. We went to dinner with some of our favourite men.....David Walliams who was on such funny form and made everybody cry with laughter, Russell Brand who was just lovely, as was his girlfriend Katy Perry who looked amazing and Matthew Rhys who is just gorgeous. We ate the most amazing Sushi at Nobu thanks to Richie, who is one of the owners and had one of the best dinners I can remember all year. We were still there past midnight and didn't really want the night to end then.....so much fun....

The Weather......

2009-10-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a good week. Pretty much. It was another week of new things and scary things for Clare. She is trying to do one thing every day that scares her and so far she is doing pretty well. And having fun doing it. So she joined a gym this week and has now tried Yoga and Pilates and she loves them both. She has been wanting to try them for the longest time but I guess fear stopped her. It's so easy to think about trying something and that voice in your head gets involved and tries to talk you out of it, it gives you reasons why it's not going to work, what could happen, a strong argument for just staying at home and watching reality TV for hours haha. The voice tells you mean things about yourself, and the voice encourages you to do unhealthy things rather than the things that are good for you and that are going to make you stronger. It doesn't want you to be strong because then it gets quieter and loses all it's power,and it particularly doesn't like us doing new things and spreading our wings, but you have to spread your wings or they'll break. SO the last few days we just ignored it and as a result had a much better time.
So - the weather was weird this week - two days of torrential rain so heavy it seemed hard to believe when the forecast was saying that the next day would be 92 degrees and clear sunshine. But sure enough, it was. And I thought again how much the weather is like my mood. I can be so down or sad or blue or upset and I always think it can never end, and suddenly it's over, usually for no reason at all. I feel sometimes like I'm a blue sky and any problems or worries or bad thoughts are like clouds, and all I have to remember is that they'll pass. They pass. They always pass. And then the sun comes out again and life is good.
Paul came home last night and that's all the excuse we need for a BBQ in this hot weather. So Al called the cast of his show 100 Questions and we sent some texts out and suddenly here we were by the pool with Chris Moynaghan, David Walton and Sophie WInkleman with her new husband Lord Freddie, then there was Ryan and Randy (love them), Russell Brand and Katy Perry, Sean Maguire, Dougray Scott, Matthew Rhys, Vinnie Jones, my fav and bestest PR Neill Reading, and the absolutely hysterical Kevin Bishop from Star Stories and the afternoon was one of the best EVER. And my angels were here to look after me and everything was just perfect and just the way I wanted it to be. So I only have to remember to remember that all those clouds have passed and for now the sun is shining and to just lay in it and enjoy.....slept like a dog.

Love vs Fear.....

2009-10-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

It is soooo good to be home. Heaven. Bliss. All that good stuff. Alex is here and Clare and he have resolved to try even more new things and keep having new experiences and that is proving great fun. Clare is also doing one thing a day that really scares her and is outside of her comfort zone. If her head tells her not to do something because she's scared, she does it anyway, just to show her head that she wants to live in Love rather than Fear. It's funny, she sat down and wrote a list of her fears this week and looking at them written down was a strange experience. I think fears can only get a hold on you when you keep them in the dark inside your head, when you get them out into the light, either by voicing them or writing them down, they lose their power. These are the things she is scared of....
Scared of being alone, scared that Baggage isn't as good as she thinks it is, of meeting new people and going to new places, scared of change, scared that people won't like her, scared people she loves will leave her, scared of getting old, scared she's unlovable, scared that Paul could die, or the dogs, scared to go downstairs in the middle of the night, scared of changing lanes on the freeway, scared that some people are only friends with her because of who she knows rather than who she is, scared that people are talking about her behind her back and saying mean things, scared of feeling sad and it never ending, scared of getting her heart broken again, scared that she's made bad choices.......there are so many things to be scared of, and none of these things frighten the life out of her, but they pop up now and again, and fears of these things can only keep you stuck and stagnant.
So instead of focusing on these things, I think the anti-dote is to make an alternative list of things you love and sit in that rather than the other. So here are some things she loves....a random list, but the important thing is to make it longer than the list of fears. Clare love..... the sound of yoooo-hooooo echoing through the house, the feel of newly cleaned sheets, the feel of a fan blowing on her face when she sleeps, the sight of Big running towards her with his ears up and mouth open in laughter, the smell of Bentley's ears, the sight of Alex's car in the driveway when she comes home, writing the sitcom and making it funnier, hiking and making new friends on the path, the sight of a perfect palm tree against a blue sky, diving into the pool on a really hot day, talking to Buckley on the phone, holding her new nephew Luca as he laughs, getting photographs developed and putting them in frames in her bedroom, buying a great pair of jeans, finding out she's lost 3 pounds, the angel she has by her bed, the goosebumps she gets seeing a certain person's name come up on her phone when it rings, her grey woollen hat, friends....all of them.
It's funny I used to think that love was all about the object of that love, like I love that person, or that place or that thing, but then there can so often be an expectation attached and some disappointment, so I think the answer is just to love. I love....I love, not particularly anything, but just that I do is good enough......so that's my lesson for the day. Let's all try and live in love not fear and see what good things come of it.

Home at last.....

2009-10-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

I know we were only away for four days but it felt like a lifetime because so many things happened and so much has changed. On Sunday after the big bash, we got up pretty early and drove down to Cobham to see Clare's family. It was heaven. If a party is a strange reason to fly across the world, family never is. We turned up and there was Mum, Kat, Elle, Kai and Luca and a sunday roast lamb lunch which was heavenly. I always makes me laugh that on a wall of photographs the two that represent Clare are from so long ago, one on her wedding day, and the other when she was 18, so I posted them.
We had lunch and a perfect catch up and then drove back to London and our temporary home at The Baglioni Hotel. Then it was over to Bucci for dinner with Kate Buckley and a good best friend natter. Jet lag hasn't really been a problem as we haven't had time to be tired and we slept soundly before waking up and spending the day running from Hospital to Hospital for Clare to have all sorts of medical tests before having a quiet night in.
We flew back on Tuesday, on the same flight as the fabulous Randy Jackson, he was so funny and sweet and awesome and it made the flight so much fun that before we knew it we were back at the house.
It was funny because recently Clare has been confused about a couple of things and it's funny how often it is the case that when people ask you how you are and you kind of fib a little and say "fine" you don't really get any answers, but when you open up and tell the right person what's really going on, it's quite extraordinary how you find the answers in the most unexpected places. So Clare was reminded about ACCEPTANCE and that this too shall pass and that that you can't always be your brother's keeper and faith is far better than fear and that this is a journey and it's not always a straight one, sometimes it takes a little detour, but as long as you get back on the right path, it's all good. "There is a solution. Almost none of us like the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves." Have a great day....

Best Party ever.....

2009-10-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

Well if any party in the world is worth flying half way across the world to attend then we picked the right one. Mr Cowell's 50th thrown by Philip and Tina Green was absolutely amazingly opulently fabulous and I loved every second of it. We arrived in London at midday and went straight to the hotel, The Baglioni in Kensington, which was so cool and italian and chic. Clare unpacked and then had her hair done and it was already time to leave.
We had decided to go in a limo with some friends so we met up at their house and everybody was so happy to see each other again and then it was in the car and off to the party. When we arrived at the gates we were almost blinded by flashbulbs so we knew if was going to be a good night. And it certainly was. On the side of Wrotham Park was a huge projection of Simon's face which repeated the theme of the night. His picture was in every toilet, painted on the ceiling, bread rolls spelled out his name (I chose an S).....the night was all about the Cowell and so it should be, he makes everybody else feel like a star so it was good to repay the favour.
The moment we walked in we started seeing people we knew and loved.....Gordon and Tana, David Walliams and hysterical James Cordon, Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss, our favourites, Ryan Seacrest and Randy Jackson, Peter Jones.....the list would go on all night. We were so lucky to be sitting on a great table right in front of the stage with gorgeous Jackie St Clair and the wonderful Karl. We were in waving distance of so many people we love love love. The night flew by. Of course what happens at Simon's stays at Simon's but suffice to say the enter tainment was incredible. Alexandra Burke and Leona Lewis sang my favourite songs and Westlife performed followed by Earth Wind and Fire at midnight singing Boogie Wonderland which had everyone, including us, up on the dancing floor jumping up and down.
The whole night flew by in a blur of hugs and kisses and we were so grateful to have been there. Simon is without a doubt the most generous, kind, wonderful, gorgeous man Clare knows and we all love him to death. What an incredible thing that so many people who know and love him all celebrated him in one place, and such a beautiful place. We're hardly stopping, Sunday lunch with the family and then we are back to LA. It almost seems like a dream now but it definitely did happen, thanks so much also for this fabulous picture of the girls from gorgeous Jamie, love and hugs gorgeous girl...

So Kind.....

2009-10-02T13:35:00.000-07:00

Nothing beats kindness. This morning I was walking in the canyon with Clare and Bentley. We had woken up especially early to have a last walk before Clare left for London for the weekend, and we had such a lovely time, and the weather was perfect and then we reached the car to drive home and somehow Clare had lost the car key. I think she had dropped it on the walk and suddenly we had no way to get home. Well we walked the route we had taken and did the whole hike again, except now it was hot and getting hotter and then we bumped into a man called Ron and he helped us look and then said he was happy to drive us home to help out. Well, I am not sure that many people would be happy to put Bentley and I, we are the size of horses, in their car and drive out of their way to help us, but he did. He dropped us at home and then Alex let us in as he woke up finally.
Now that sounds bad, the reason that he was sleeping late was because he worked very late last night filming the pilot for his series 100 Questions. Clare went and she said it was so fantastic watching him work and he did such a great job, as did everyone in the show, it was funny and good and I think it will be a big hit.
So now we were in the house and Alex drove us to the canyon and even walked up and down it for his own hike just to see if he could find the key. So kind. I wonder sometimes what we did in life ever to be deserving of such kindness. I am not sure I am always kind, although I try to be as often as I can. And whenever I am kind it makes me feel so good I wonder why I am not kinder more often. I will try harder. Ron turned out to be fascinating. He was an actor, of course he was, and he was in one of my favourite movies, The Shooting Party, so he loved all things British. And then I looked him up and saw that he was in all sorts of classic TV shows like Kojak, Charlie's Angel's, The Rockford Files, Hawaii Five O....the list went on and on. So thank you very much to you Ron. You were our Knight in Shining Armour today and I hope you have a great week as a result.
So we are off to London......for the big party....and I'm so excited. It's been a crazy week. So many things have happened and so many things have changed, I will explain all next week when I get back. Have a great weekend and love to you all......

Partay......

2009-09-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

Well after a week of peace and quiet and chilled days, and early nights we decided as it was Kate's last day, we should go out on a bang and throw her a farewell party. It's been in the 90's all week and the evenings have almost been as hot so it's a perfect excuse for a pool party. We called around, we bumped into a couple of old friends, Kate had a couple of clients in town and suddenly we were all set for a good day. The weirdest thing is that this week Kate and Clare drove to Laguna Beach and visited a healer and he literally changed Clare's energy. She came back transformed. She is different. Its funny because I often think that people don't change, like leopard doesn't change its spots, but then I see evidence where a person literally changes in an instant and they are like a diferent person, and especially their energy changes. Well that's what happened to Clare. And it was so nice. So this barbeque was different. She wasn't stressed, or trying to control anything, or worrying, she was the most chilled, easygoing, happy person and talked to everybody and played with the dogs and had a thoroughly great time.
So Matthew Rhys, Sean Maguire and Nicholas Hoult were the first to arrive, then Sophie WInkleman (who is the star of 100 Questions = Alex"s show) and her new husband Lord Freddie Windsor turned up next, then Rhys Ifans and Sadie and Camille and we were all sitting around the table when the entire barbeque was rendered fairly speechless because in walked Robert Plant and Roger Daltry. Well it's just not every day that two rock gods - Led Zeppelin and The Who wander round your pool. Everybody was so thrilled to meet them and they are just so nice and lovely and friendly and told the greatest stories and hung out all afternoon. When they left we put some or their music on really loud and Rhys jumped into the pool playing air guitar and we all cooled off in there and relived the whole afternoon. FInally it was time for Kate to leave and I was so heartbroken.
It's the only thing I don't like about living here, being away from her. She is the most special wonderful friend you could ever hope for.
Well the day was perfect and we were in bed early ish and I fell asleep dreaming good dreams and couldn't have been happier if I tried. Slept like a dog......

More peace...

2009-09-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

So with the realization that I really enjoy peace and in my search of it, Clare, Kate, Paul and I drove down Sunset Boulevard until we had nearly reached the Ocean and then took a left turn into a place we have passed many times but never actually ventured into. Clare had read about this place because it features a lot in books about Elvis Presley of all people. He used to come here when he lived in Hollywood looking for the same thing we are I suppose. Peace and contentment. "Mankind is engaged in an eternal quest for that "something
else" he hopes will bring him happiness, complete and unending. For those individual souls who has sought and found God, the search is over : He is that something else." Paramahansa Yogananda. The place is called Lake Shrine and it's where Paramahansa Yogananda formed the Self Realization Fellowship. And it's beautiful and magical and wonderful.
We all walked around the beautiful lake and sat on the little benches and took in the view and then we found a shady spot and we did an amazing guided meditation that Paul walked us through called Big Mind, which is an incredible process that stops your head chattering and takes you to such an amazing state of non-seeking contended mind and it's blissful. Then we walked in the grounds for a bit longer, fed the swans, sat inside the chapel which is shaped like a dutch windmill (really) and it was like being in another world. It was hard to believe that all the craziness and speed of LA was so near, but so far. We spent about an hour there and ended up in the gift shop where Clare got yet another bracelet and some beautiful chimes for the garden. It was a wonderful afternoon and I am so glad I got to go.The next day it was so hot we really couldn't go anywhere. We decided to just have a quiet lunch at home but it was still wonderful as the lovely Rupert Friend came by and then in the afternoon Lucy Davis came by to see Kate and hung out for a while. This evening everyone just sat outside until late and talked and talked about everything that's going on. Clare is so grateful for Kate being here this week. Clare has trouble sometimes and tends to try and see the best in people and situations and sometimes she can end up beng taken for a ride or strung along and often it is only your closest friends who can point that out, that not everybody's motives are clean and true. Even when you want so much to believe that somebody cares about you for the right reasons, you have to accept that they really never will and be ok with that and take them for what they are and nothing more. “There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first... when you learn to live for others, they will live for you.” Paramahansa Yogananda.

Back home again....

2009-09-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhhh we just got back from the loveliest walk in the Canyon. Bentley still has a bad paw so it's just me and Clare at the moment. Although when we get home we have Buckley, Paul and Alex to hang out with. I am so so happy to have all my best friends who I love the most in one place.....our house :)
The rest of our time in NY was fun and beautiful.....Sunday we went uptown to visit with our dear and wonderful friends Ron and Jackie Rudin. Dr Rudin is the most brilliant doctor and they are two of our favourite people in the world. After a delicious brunch we went for a walk in Central Park, to a part I had never been to as it's right at the top at 103rd street but oh it was so worth to trip up there. It was so perfect and beautiful and I posted all these pictures to transport you there too. For all the glamorous and fun and exciting things we do it is these moments that I cherish and that fill my soul up, beautiful peaceful times where you get to exhale and feel the sun on your face and meditate on the blessings this life is filled with. We walked around for an hour or so and talked and were silent and it was all perfect.
Then it was back to the hotels where we picked up our bags and headed for the airport and Los Angeles. Ah the joy when I walk back into my home. And the added joy of it being filled with love and the two best friends you could ever possibly wish for. And there they were. So last night we went to dinner at The Chateau with another two of my fav actors (how many favourite actors are you actually allowed to have???) Nicholas Hoult and Sean Maguire.
Guy Ritchie was there, then Cat Deeley arrived with our friend Nicky Penny, and it was a fun night on the Patio suddenly.
But when I got back up to the house, my mind was drawn again to the peace of that garden in New York, the hour spent in St Patrick's Cathedral, the way my mind goes so still when it's in nature, in faith and in love. And I felt truly happy again. I love it when my mind stops chattering and more and more I spend my best times searching for places and people that quieten my mind and just allow me to be.
So this week has been so perfect....to be surrounded by people I unconditionally love and who accept me for who I am no matter what. That is true bliss. “Peace is not something you wish for; It's something you make, Something you do, Something you are, And something you give away.” PS A big thank you to all the people who bought Paul's new book and helped it get to Number One - what a wonderful end to the week....

New York City....

2009-09-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

Yes we're in New York City. We got here on Monday and it's been such an amazing week. We're on a book tour for I Can Make You Sleep which is racing up the US Book charts so thank you for everyone who went out and bought a copy. Sleep well :)
This week we have been working but we've also had so much fun, too much fun, an excess of fun....we kind of OD'd on fun and that's not a good thing. Everything is good in moderation but too much of anything will lead to problems, even fun! We have a friend here who is so like that, they do too much of everything and then crash and do something else for a while, we call it drug juggling. So one week she drinks too much or does too many drugs, so she stops that and gets all anorexic for a week, then she'll be co-dependent for a few days or a love addict and then she's back to overdoing work or going out or fame or glamour and then she crashes all over again. It must be exhausting but some people just can't do things in moderation. It's all or nothing, black or white, and it's a tough nut to crack. They just don't understand the old adage - “Never go to excess,
but let moderation be your guide.”
But all in all we had a good week. Two of our favourite actors are in NY rehearsing for Broadway plays so that was awesome, then we saw a lot of old friends, plus the US Open tennis was in town and we were staying in a Player's Hotel so that was like old times. Suffice to say that we are exhausted. We've had to be getting up at six ish every morning to do breakfast shows and early morning sattelite interviews which is sooooo tiring if you've had a late night. I think I may be getting a little too long in the tooth to burn the candle at both ends. But we only have one more day. Paul is on Fox And Friends tomorrow morning and luckily for him they have the brilliant idea of interviewing him IN BED as it's a sleep book, shame it's not his bed, but he has to get out of that and climb into one in a studio at Fox :) Genius, that'll be a first.
Sleep has not been a problem for us when we have got back to our hotel room. We're staying in a hotel which has a pillow menu and there are 30 different pillows to choose from so we've been working our way through them, everything from a water pillow to a buckwheat to a satin dream to a gelly roll....on and on and on. But it's been fun.
The hotel is also four blocks from a NY Pinkberry so we really are in heaven. And tomorrow when we finally get on our plane home we will smile all the way back knowing that Kate Buckley and Alex Hardcastle are waiting for us back in our home when we get there. Now that is the best homecoming I know of......meanwhile, sleep well, and remember “Throw moderation to the winds, and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains”
PS New York photos to follow xxxx LINK TO GMA http://media.vmsinfo.com/locationservice-mediaserver/StreamMedia?file=9%2BfspAbSGAWoES1n63xNWobmSdhWyRlkqTy%2BGRmEe
DPcCHexJ6M%2FbNxjW%2FRhyrl3&index=1&mediaType=null&direct=true

Friends again....and again.....

2009-09-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

So we got back from Vegas safely and I think it was one of the most fun trips we have ever had. It's so lovely how well Alex and Clare get along. It's just fabulous to have a friend like that. It's funny to think that they had a fight once and Clare wasn't sure they would ever be friends again. Clare was stressed and wound up from work and apparently she spoke pretty rudely to Al and he left the lunch table and didn't talk to her for a while. Clare sent letters, texts, left messages.....she was so sorry and promised never to ever speak to him like that again....and she hasn't. Sometimes things like that happen in friendships. And sometimes you just let them go because perhaps they're not worth fighting for, and you get all stubborn and prideful and think you're right and you won't back down.....but other times you just know that you were in the wrong and that you want to do everything you could possibly do to make it right if you can. Even Clare and Kate Buckley had a fight once but they worked through it......real friendships are worth doing that for. And sometimes having a fight and nearly losing something that precious makes you treasure and value it even more.
Clare's friend Jonny and her have fallen out three times before, sometimes for years, but right now they're happily in Chapter Four of their friendship and so far so good. It's human - when you know somebody so so so well and you spend so so so much time with them, there are bound to be disagreements but how you learn and grow and change is not to just bolt and cut off and run but to see if you can forgive and forget and move on and past any bad feeling into something better. I guess that is not always the easiest route but it is the most rewarding I think.
So when we got back from Vegas we went straight up to see Ryan. He was so lovely and let Al drive his beautiful car as it's his favourite. We had such a fun night and laughed and watched the new Jennifer Anniston movie in his movie theatre. It's such great news about Ellen joining American Idol as the new judge. I love love love Ellen and think she's going to be a fabulous addition.
The other exciting news is that Clare finally finished writing her sit-com pilot with Al and a friend and it really has turned out well. So so satisfying to finish another thing. I love to have an idea, to implement it but to actually finish it....now that's rewardng all in itself.
“You show people what you're willing to fight for when you fight for your friends.” Hillary Clinton!

The bigger the gamble, the bigger the Wynn....

2009-09-06T11:26:00.000-07:00

I am so happy right now......So Thursday rolled around and the house felt a little quiet with Paul gone and Alex and Clare looked at each other and then I heard them say in unison......"Vegas Baby Vegas" and they high fived and Clare got on the phone and started e mailing and before you could say Las Vegas Nevada we were in the car and on our way to the city of sin :))))) Well not so much sin for us, but plenty of fun. The gorgeous Mr Neil Reading had sorted out an incredible two bedroom suite, not any suite, THE JAMES BOND SUITE, at Planet Hollywood and we had to call Paul and describe all the different outfits that Roger Moore and Sean Connery had worn in movies which decorated the rooms. We got there so quickly, with a lunch stop at Chick-Fil-A of course, and we changed quickly and were straight out on to the strip and walked up to The Mirage where we had dinner in a tropical rainforest called Kokomo's before going to see The Beatles Love Cirque Du Soleil. It was even better the second time around. Alex had never seen it and said it was definitely the best show he's ever been to. I loved "Octopus's Garden" and "Something in the way she moves" the best, but it was all fantastic.
After that we did a bit of gambling and then had an early night.
Saturday we drove to the outlet malls and then had the best lunch at The Country Club at The Wynn which was incredible. It's really hot here, about 106 degrees but we still sat outside in the shade with misters keeping us cool. In the afternoon we were going to go to the gun range to shoot but Clare chickened out and we just lazed in the suite and watched The Proposal on Pay Per View haha. After dinner at Koi Alex and Clare wandered over the road to The Bellagio and Clare sat down at one of the slot machines and put in ten dollars. On about the third pull all the lights and sirens and bells and whistles started going off.....Alex came round from the other side and laughingly said "I thought that was you winning the jackpot" and then went pale when Clare said "I think it is." It was such a buzz and people came over and she pressed CASH OUT and ran out of there. The interesting thing was that she didn't win as much as she would have if she had pressed a button called BET MAX. She was betting safe, one at a time, and it was a three coin machine. So the lesson here is, it you're gonna play, play hard. Bet it all. Go For It. And then the rewards will be bigger and more exciting, just a little scarier. However it didn't matter a bit that she could have won more, she won enough to be very very happy and felt so lucky to have had such fun doing it.
We woke up early Sunday morning and instead of spending another day in Vegas we decided that there is no place like home, especially our home, so we jumped in the Range Rover and sped all the way back to LA by midday......now that's the way to do it......

Winding down.....

2009-08-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

One of the nicest things about LA is how many friends come here to work and spend long periods of time here....but then one of the worst things is that leave again. All things end. That's what I've been reminded of lately. And sometimes they end sooner than you want. But I suppose the only way to look at it, so that it's not sad, is that other things begin. It's just that tiny space in between one thing ending and another thing beginning, one friend leaving and another coming to stay, that feels a little bit empty and sad. Sooooo we're filling that space with other things. Clare has taken up some new activities. She has been to take a Bar Method class which was hard but fun. It is sort of a cross between ballet, pilates and yoga and her friend that does it regularly swears by it so she's going to try and stick with it. Then she's also taking a bikram yoga class with another friend which is difficult at the moment as the temperature outside is over a hundred degrees and the thought of going inside to exercise in that sort of heat is difficult. But Clare says that at her age she has to try out all sorts of things to stay healthy and keep everything from heading south. I don't know about that. As long as I get my walk, I am fine. This week we haven't really been able to even do that because of the heat and the terrible air quality. You can smell the smoke in the air and it's a little hard to breathe. We are spending our time upstairs with the air conditioner on high and the doors shut for once.
So this weekend was good. Really fun and really good.
It was Paul's last weekend before he leaves for 3 weeks for London and New York so we made the most of it.
Friday afternoon Ross King came over to film a piece on Brits in LA with Paul and they laughed so much it was amazing they ever got it done. In the evening we went to our favourite restaurant Ceconni's with the owner Nick and his lovely wife Kirsty Young who I adore. Gordon and Tana joined us which is always the most fun. And then we all went back to our house for a night cap and Alex came home from filming "Parks and Recreation" so we stayed up talking to him for a while too. His week had gone really well. I am so so proud of him. Directing his first NBC prime time show is such an achieve ment. We were all saying how amazing it is and how super talented he is. It's a joy to have him here.
Saturday was fun and we drove out to Malibu to see some friends and get some clean air which was good. In the evening our friend Jonny came over and we had some Chin Chin's and a quiet night at home which was fab. So another week looms. We're driving Paul to the airport now and then we're going to do nothing for a few hours and just enjoy the peace and silence, that gap between things that we kind of dread but eventually gets filled by something wonderful.....“'You'll get over it...' It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit. Why would I want them to?"

Right Time....Right Place....

2009-08-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

So this morning we had some errands to run and we stopped by The Grove to pick up something but it wasn't open yet for another 20 minutes so we decided to just sit on the grass by the fountains and wait for the shops to open rather than come back later. It was so hot and sunny already and we sat under a tree in the shade to have a quiet moment. Well suddenly the stage burst into life and music started and we realised that it was Gavin Rossdale doing a sound check for the show he is doing tonight there. Well he sang our favourite song right in front of us, two feet away, and we watched and clapped when it finished as we were the only people there to see it. And it made me think that so many times we just happen to be in the right place at the right time and see these things that really are quite special. But then I really got such a profound sense that it's not an accident, God just puts us there and all we have to do is enjoy it. I really do believe that everyone who comes into our life, is there for a reason, even when we can't see what it is until later, and every new experience we have, they're all gifts and we really need to get out of the way sometimes and remember that when we're looking at our watches wondering where the next one is or when things are going to change. They will, in God's time, not our time. And in the meantime I have to remember to just enjoy the view. So that was a great start to a very hot day.
This afternoon Paul had some promos to shoot for GMTV next week. As you know he's coming back to promote his new book, which is out any minute....Control Stress. It's really fantastic so rush out and buy one now if you're stressed :) I can't find anything to be stressed about. I mainly laze about in the shade trying to find the energy to go in and have my next meal so life isn't exactly high pressure.
In the evening we drove out to Malibu again for Tana Ramsay's birthday party which was just the most fun party of the entire summer. Everyone was there and yet again we laughed til we cried. Victoria looked so beautiful in one of her own dresses, and David was really cool and plugged his i-pod in and supplied the tunes. Gordon had done the food which was incredible and Tana looked amazing and made me laugh so much. We finally got back into the car and drove home up Sunset Blvd listening to some great music and reliving the evening. This summer has really been incredible and each year in LA just seems to get better and better. I absolutely feel every single day that i'm in the right place at the right time and how lucky, blessed and grateful I am to be here.....slept like a dog.....oh and just wanted to give a hug hug and thanks and admiration for the amazing job the firefighters are doing here with the wild fires in this blistering heat....Bless you guys....

All change.....

2009-08-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

So sometimes the universe has a way of gently telling you that things need to change, and to begin with it gives you gentle hints and then a small push, but if you don't listen it will inevitably get your attention and give you a great big shove. And sometimes it feels quite rude and it can even hurt for a second, but as long as you realise that it did try and tell you nicely and this is important. I just feel as though it's very easy to stagnate and get stuck and just kind of cruise along and shoot the breeze and stop pushing yourself forward and stop changing. You just play it safe, stay in your comfort zone, because it's comfortable and before you know it a couple of years have passed and you haven't really grown, you've just stood still. So somehow has to shake things up, turn them upside down, shake off the cobwebs and clear out the dead wood for you.
And then it's up to you to make it a positive experience, and do your part and get involved. So that's what is going on around here at the moment. A period of resistance where we pushed back, followed by acceptance and then action. So things are changing. GOOD. I'm all for that. Because they sure as hell couldn't stay the same. So now we've got that out of the way, it's all good and positive and we're fired up and out of the doldrums. Thank goodness.
We've had a great weekend. We spent most of our days at The Chateau lazing by the pool with Bentley and Clare and Alex which was perfect. It was just wonderful to be back at our hotel, back in our old room, back around people we know and love so much. It was Bentley's first time staying in a hotel and to begin with he was a little nervous and barked at every sound, but eventually he settled down and really enjoyed our stay. He was a bit of a star....he's so big he does attract a lot of attention and he seems to look even bigger when he's walking around a hotel. At one point he even jumped up and put his big paws on the reception desk to say hello to the girls properly and a crowd gathered to watch. I had to smile. I used to be like that, but now I'm happy to stay in the background and let him have the attention. I am all about having a quiet life these days. I just love to laze, eat, sleep, and think. I think a lot and have figured so much out now that I don't have to wonder or question as much these days. Friday night we went over to Simon Cowell's with Ryan and Randy and had the most wonderful dinner and fun night. Saturday was Kings Of Leon at The Forum which was awesome and Sunday we drove out to the beach and had a good walk on the beach out at Malibu which we always love.
So another week looms, we have a lot of work to do and cannot wait to get started so that's it for now.....Clare has been listening to Lullaby by Shawn Mullins and it's my favourite song at the moment. Love it.

Thank you....

2009-08-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

It's funny....over the years of writing this blog we have made so many friends. We've met new people, we've shared long e-mails and spoken on the phone with strangers who have helped us get through so many different ups and downs in this time. And yet again I want to thank you for being so lovely and reaching out and sending quotes and poems and songs and helpful advice and all of it helped and all of it got Clare through. I am not sure that anyone can ever appreciate what amazing good has come out of this and how much help and how sometimes it has been the one thing that has continued to be positive when other things have felt negative. I never could have imagined that sharing my doubts and fears and possible solutions to them could bring so many people together. Paul always says that some people come for one reason and stay for another, and that is so often the case with everything. That's how this stuff works I guess.
Talking of Paul, as if there wasn't enough going on....he dislocated his shoulder on Sunday at the Ramsey's BBQ. Gordon and Paul were messing about on the water slide and somehow in all the tomfoolery, poor Paul threw his shoulder out and has been in such pain all week. The amazing Dr Frank has been over to the house twice to put it back into place but it's still sore and it hurts to move so he's doing the best thing and taking the rest of the week off with his girlfriend Katherine and resting up.
Sunday was amazing. I can honestly say that it was the best afternoon ever.
With the greatest views and food and people you could ever imagine. Gordon made us laugh all day, as only he can, and he and Tana were the best most incredible hosts, much better than we were last week when we actually forgot to offer them any food when they came by. I think it was unconscious fear after watching too much Hell's Kitchen but he teased us about it all day which was so funny.
The Beckhams were also there and that is always brilliant. Victoria is the nicest, coolest, most down to earth really funny and warm and lovely girl I have ever had the pleasure to meet.
And she's so much more beautiful in "real life". I could go on and on about her but I won't - she just rocks. And her dresses rock. And her husband rocks. So that's all I have to tell you about the weekend.
I will try and keep up to date. We are going on a mini vacation and going to stay in our old room at the Chateau Marmont so we'll make sure we give you all the news as it happens.....hope your weekend is going well and thank you again for being there.....

Struggling..

2009-08-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

Haven't blogged all week. It's been a difficult one for lots of different reasons, but mainly because Clare has been struggling. I think everybody struggles sometimes. You just get in a dark place and can't find your way out and there just doesn't seem to be an immediate answer to the worries and fears that seem overwhelming. It's just a struggle. I guess if I was going to offer any advice, it would be to just have faith that everything will be alright and that you will come out the other side, eventually, and probably sooner than you think. The trick probably is not to struggle. Just to go with it. Accept that you're in this place and that it will pass and that the answer will come and that God is still there, he hasn't moved, you have. But in the meantime, just be gentle and kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up too badly that you don't have all the answers, and just hang in there.
The most incredibly healing and wonderful thing about times like this is that you suddenly realise how many friends you have and that they care. It's important to ask for help and to admit that you're having a hard time and to let people in and to help you. There is no point in putting on a brave face and pretending everything is just great, when you feel as though you're dying inside. Nobody is going to know and be able to make you feel better if you don't become vulnerable occasionally and let yourself look as bad as you feel inside.
So that's where we are. Struggling. But funnily enough, life doesn't always understand that, and it goes on the same way it always does and this week has been no exception. Paul flew to New York to appear on the Tyra show to promote his new book I Can Make You Sleep which is out here in America in September. He taped it now but I don't think it will be on the TV until after the Good Morning America show on the 17th, but I'll let you know when I do. It's exciting as we also got the very first copy of Paul's new book which is for Stress and I think one of his best yet. It's out in Britain at the beginning of September also so it will be a very busy month. So, life goes on and sometimes all you can do is just keep putting one foot in front of the other and walk through whatever internal upset is going on knowing that it won't last forever.....it just feels like it.
On Saturday we had a really lovely time at the house as Dougray and Claire came up for a BBQ with the kids and it really was fantastic to see them. Everyone ended up having a mini badminton tournament in the garden until Bentley ran off with the Shuttlecock :) Sadie dropped by too and it was a beautiful afternoon followed by a good night's sleep, what more can you ask for in life.....“Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling, enduring, and accomplishing.”

Good Morning Sunshine....

2009-08-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

So here are some more pictures from the barbeque for you.....it was funny because as so often happens, after the barbeque had finished and we were sitting around outside after most of the people had left, they got to talking as they do. Clare was telling everybody how Paul has been working with her lately and how effective it has been. She was saying how mornings can totally define how the rest of her day is going to go. She wakes up and in that 15 minutes between waking and getting up she can instantly see the quality of her thinking. She can wake up with the elephant on her chest and thoughts of ex's, or worries about the day to come, fears about things that could happen, or racing thoughts about work she has to do or hasn't done.....gosh I'm exhausted just thinking about it. SO Paul has been helping her and even made a great cd to wake up to which fills her full of positivity, optimism, motivation and a 'jump out of bed' excitement about the day that's infectious.
Well by the time she had finished talking about it, everybody else wanted to listen to the same thing so now we're going to make a cd for everyone. Paul may go on Ryan's show soon and then you can download it from the KIIS website for free or we'll make it available from McKenna.com but either way, I would recommend it to anyone. It's such a great way to start the day. Clare says it has changed everything.
We just keep looking at every day and asking the question "How can we make this day count? What can we do today that matters?". Paul figured out he has about 15,000 days left on this earth and he doesn't want to waste any of them, he wants to do something worthwhile.
The other thing that has really really helped lately is WATER. Clare has never drunk much water, unlike Bentley and I who spend all day either drinking out of our bowls or the toilet (EWWWWWWWW sorry). It is not only good for you I actually think it helps the brain, the body and every other bit of you Clare says it is making her more energetic and has really made her skin better and softer. Just from drinking a big bottle of water a day.
So those are my two overheard tips for the day. And what a day, my favourite BBQ of this summer, all you could hear really were people laughing so hard, at everything James Corden said and did, he's just brilliant, I think Clare's a little in love as her favourite thing to do is laugh, so it was absolutely the perfect day for her.....slept like a dog with occasional giggles....

Talking to Angels,,..

2009-08-09T16:25:00.000-07:00

So I had a lot of emails and texts asking about the prayer for Bentley and whether I thought prayers work and whether I believe in Angels. DO I BELIEVE IN ANGELS????? I don't just believe in Angels, I know Angels, I talk to Angels, I love Angels. Clare has had a guardian Angel all her life, and she sees them and speaks to them and asks them questions and they always help. I think that even if the whole idea of Angels is in your mind and not real at all, surely it is better and more comforting and life is richer through holding that belief. But I don't think it is my imagination, I really do think they're there and the more you look for them the more you see evidence of them everywhere. So yes I do believe the prayer worked.
I pray all the time. It's just my way of getting through this funny life with its ups and downs and I find it really helpful to know that there is something bigger than me, helping me, guiding me, protecting me and loving me uncoditionally. Isn't that really all you could want in anything. I don't mind if you think I'm crazy but that's just what this dane thinks and you're welcome to agree or disagree. I just hope that whatever you believe in brings you as much comfort and happiness.
So we had a good weekend. Friday night we had dinner at Ceconni's which was great fun. Will, our wonderful manager friend from The Chateau, was working there so he was popping over every five minutes with funny stories and silly tales. I love him and it took me back to when we lived there and how kind and funny he always was.
Saturday morning we were up bright and early. We went for a hike with Clare and then got back and suddenly the gardeners were here planting trees and furniture was being delivered and everybody was rushing around getting things ready for the BBQ. And while we sat there for a while wondering if anyone was actually going to come at all, everyone then arrived at once. And it was perfect. The funniest man I have ever
met came by and had everyone in stitches laughing, actually crying with laughter.... James Corden is brilliant, hysterical and really really gorgeous......then Matthew Rhys, Bailey Chase, Brock Cuchna (who you have to catch in Melrose Place) and Sean Maguire..,,,ah but before you start thinking that it was an all boys day, Nicky, India, Suzy, Dana and Camille turned up and then Nick Jones and Kirsty Young and the fabulous Gordon and Tana Ramsey who I just love love love arrived and it had suddenly turned into my favourite afternoon EVER. Sean also brought his friend Mike who is a landscape gardener and he took us round the garden and told us the names of every tree and flower we pointed at.....now that's cool.....so with flora and fauna floating round my head the garden suddenly looked even more beautiful.....more....

Gifts....

2009-08-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

I think that one of the true keys to happiness is to focus and become conscious of all your blessings, gifts and the things you have to be grateful for. People make a choice as to whether to sit and think about what they don't have, what is wrong and sit in fear of everything that could happen instead of taking time out each day to just list everything that is right and wonderful. This week we have been really lucky as everybody seemed to get a gift in one way or another although I can't talk about gifts until I qualify it with two quotes - “The best gift you can give is a hug : one size fits all and no one ever minds if you return it” and “Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends.”
Having said that gifts in packages can be good too :) and Paul received an amazing present from Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin and it now has pride of place on the wall in the hallway. And then Bentley received this cool prayer from our friend Satish who is an amazing healer.....you can find him on Chakramagic.com and I actually think it has helped as his foot is a lot better and we went to the dog park today which was a gift for me as well I guess.I think the nicest thing in the world about getting a present, no matter what it is, how expensive or how much trouble it was to find is that it shows that person was thinking about you and liked you
enough to go to that trouble to express it. Paul found a great present for Simon to thank him for our wonderful holiday and he had as much fun finding it and giving it. Real joy comes from giving not getting and I try try try to remember that and do what I can.
This weekend is shaping up to be such fun. Paul and Clare decided to throw a small BBQ and then it just grew and grew, like a little seed, and now it's ridiculous how many people are going to be around this pool tomorrow. There are so many Brits here for the summer....we've had to make three trips to the new Pavilions on Santa Monica (which is heaven by the way) to get all the ingredients needed to feed such a crowd. I hope it turns out well. The key to having a good party is to make sure you enjoy it too and don't get too bogged down in stressing and worrying about whether everyone will get along or have fun. Build it and they will come and if past parties are anything to go by, a good time will be had by all. I guess the only weird thing for Clare is to be having a BBQ without Craig. They kind of started them together last year and they began small with some bagels and cream cheese and then we bought the grill and invited more people and now it just seems strange to be having one without him here. Who knows, maybe one day. I think she's still a bit sad so I better not dwell on it for too long......as I said, we should focus on who is coming not on who isn't (don't I ever learn anything from what I write???) so here's to some summer fun and wishing you all a brilliant weekend too....“Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third”

Time Flies...

2009-08-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

So sorry, I had such good intentions to write more blogs this week and already half of it has flown by. I honestly don't know where the time is going at the moment. It seems as though it was May just yesterday and I was thinking about how nice that summer was here and then suddenly I am seeing signs about Labour Day sales and before you know it, Autumn is right around the corner.
Good intentions are a very positive thing but if they are not matched with good actions then they become more and more hollow. Anybody can have good intentions - you can really mean to call somebody back, help somebody out, get that chore done, get your life sorted out.....but if you don't actually wake up one morning and start doing it then it just becomes an annoying little niggle that you try to pretend isn't there until you forget about it altogether.
I think the best way to make them happen is to write a list at the start of the week. Something about writing them down, seeing them in Black and White, and then ticking them off....it makes you feel so so good to have achieved each one and there is such satisfaction in being able to cross it off and know that you did what you intended.
So every time I come into the kitchen I hear the same song as Paul keeps watching that JK Wedding Entrance Dance on You Tube. I think everybody loves that so much because it makes you so happy to see somebody else's joy, even when you don't know them, it makes you smile, and so happy for them. It isn't always the easiest thing in the world to be happy for other people, it's hard for it not to bring up the thought that perhaps you're not THAT happy or THAT complete, but I think you just have to focus on what you do have and everything that is good and happy and joyful in your life, rather than comparing your life to anyone else's. It's a tough one sometimes. But I think focusing on other people's joy, filling your heart up with it, restores your faith that it can happen if that is what you want.
So the rest of the weekend was so much fun. We spent Sunday lazing by the pool, talking and laughing, and then left our pool to go see our friend Brock Cuchna, who was having his own pool party. Brock is such a talented, great guy, plus we never stop laughing around him which is a bonus. After a fun afternoon we drove back home and Paul got back from Ryan's just in time to hang out for another evening and reflect on all the things we know are important, like Joy, Love, Intention, Happiness and of course Friendships that I wouldn't trade for anything......

Believe.....

2009-08-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

You know sometimes it can be so frustrating when you know somebody well and you really believe that you can see that they are engaging in a self destructive behaviour and you think you know what is best for them but there is absolutely nothing you can do to help. It can make you feel so helpless but everyone has their own path, their own life to live, and no lessons you have learned can be taught if they don't want to listen. Probably the saddest thing is to watch somebody you love hurting themselves but Clare always says that she has to learn her lessons in the most painful, difficult and slow way sometimes and that only when the pain gets to be unbearable do you make that change. It's the gift of desperation I guess. You have to try something else because you just can't stand it anymore. And the great thing is that there is always hope. For everyone and every situation, there is hope. Change really can happen in an instant and I never stop being amazed at the incredible changes I witness happen in people all the time. Being around Paul is amazing because so often we get to see him work with people who quite literally arrive in one way, and leave, well they leave different. So that always gives us enormous faith in the power of change so you must never give up believing that it's possible. It just sometimes takes longer than we'd like.
This has been a great week. Paul got back on Wednesday and we haven't really stopped working since then. Clare loves working. I listened to her talking last night to Alex and Paul. They were talking about Fathers and Clare was saying how lucky she felt in that her father instilled strong work ethics in her and her sister Kate, and that she has so much respect for anyone else who works hard. It would have been easy enough to let somebody else do all the work and look after them, but they both decided that being independent and making choices based on nothing other than what made them happy and what they enjoyed was worth working for. I do think it is much much harder to feel good about yourself and have self-esteem when you are not living up to your potential and using the brains or brawn that you were blessed with to try and make a difference and do something worthwhile with your talents.
One of the most inspiring and wonderful gifts we have is to be surrounded by people who do use their God given talents and when you hear music that someone has created or read a script a good friend has written or watch as someone's hard work pays off and gets rewarded, it just blows you away and gives you goose bumps and makes the hair stand up on your neck, you know that that person is fulfilling their destiny in such an incredible way that it cannot help but make you feel proud. If I can come even close to that in my lifetime I'll be so happy.
So we had a great weekend, got up early again and picked up Sean and Archie and went to the Eaton Canyon trail near Pasadena for an early morning walk with Chris Moynihan who wrote and produces Al's show. Now there is talent and hard work paying off. We had such a great time.....it's a fantastic hike with so many rivers and waterfalls and it's cool and shady. What a great start to the weekend. Will keep you posted some more this week.....it's going to be a good one, for all of us....

Cooper Canyon Hike...

2009-07-28T15:10:00.000-07:00

So Clare's back, Alex is here and with Paul back any day now we are all set for a perfect summer. Of course it feels a little different and strange and it takes a little getting used to. All the changes I mean. I am such a scaredy-dog that I'm not a big fan of change. I almost would rather things stay the same even if it's not that great, than go through all the upheaval of having to get used to new places, things or people. Change is just a little frightening. Mainly because you don't know what's going to happen and it's a little unsettling. But that's life....."Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living." And all you can do is risk it, and then accept what comes of it, knowing that it's all going to be for your higher good - “For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”
So some things are different, but thankfully some things stay the same.
On Sunday morning we got up early and after picking up Alex's great friend, the wonderful and gorgeous Mr Sean Maguire, we headed to the Los Angeles Forest for a good long hike. We did the Cooper Canyon trail and it was stunning.
Although sadly we did think it was a big loop until we had walked for over an hour and were still no nearer to where we began.
So we had to just turn around and go back along the path we had already walked, which is never as interesting, but at least it was familiar. Sometimes in life it is good to try the road less travelled but if you find yourself walking the same road again and wondering why, it's probably time to try something new. That's all that change is really. And change sometimes involves preparation, so really we should have spent longer checking out the route and where we were heading than just setting off without a plan.
Regardless, we had the best two and a half hours. It was hot but shady with plenty of cold mountain streams, and the airwas thin but the trails weren't too steep so we all plodded on until we arrived back at the car. We drove back into the city, dropping off my new dog-friend Archie on the way, and then had a fabulous lunch at The Belmont which tasted twice as good because we were all so hungry.
It was good to spend the day with friends though. Alex is pretty busy during the week as he's still casting 100 Questions, so we don't get to hang out with him all day which is our favourite thing to do. So we take time when we can and make the best of it. Slept like a very tired dog.....sigh....

Learning - Growing

2009-07-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

Mummy's home. It's the best feeling in the world and right now we're all laying on the bed together and none of us can keep our eyes open but we don't want to go to sleep yet because we've been dreaming about this moment. I hate being away from the people I love. Hate Hate Hate it. But Clare had such an amazing trip I can't even be cross because she seems so happy and has been telling us all about the adventure and all the people she's seen and it sounded incredible so I'm happy for her. And happy for me now she's back.
So after London - family - Buckley - Cree - Dougray and a little bit of Paul before he left.....Clare continued on to Nice in the south of France and her holiday in heaven, or rather Simon Cowell's boat. It was like staying at a Four Seasons on the water apparently. Words cannot describe it, so I won't even try, but suffice to say, it contained Clare's favourite people, and especially some of Clare's favourite girls and her two favourite guys. All of them in one place at one time....on a boat no less. Bliss. The holiday was incredible and she's never ever had such fun and it was the best trip and and and.....but when she was telling us, I asked her what she learned, because she always says that life is about learning and growing, so she made a list, and this is it...

...that jet lag sucks, that some people's outsides don't match their insides, that all good things come to an end, that a change is as good as a rest but a change with rest is heaven, that first impressions can be wrong, that hope floats, that SOME guys are not ALL guys, that girls just want to have fun, that food tastes better on a boat, that holidays on the water - be it lakes or seas - are the greatest, that Paul is the best friend anyone could ever pray for, that Kings of Leon sound better on a yacht played loud, that high heels can be dangerous, that a picture can tell a thousand words, that you can't have too much of a good thing, to always stay grateful grateful grateful, that the best thing about going away can be coming home, that loyalty pays off in the greatest ways, that resentment is pointless - like taking poison and expecting someone else to die, that sometimes a good gossip amongst girls is the best fun in the world, that first class BA is the best but a jet is better, to never say never and that some things are not over til they're over - but other things are over forever and for the best, to keep an open mind and an open heart, that being happy is the most brilliant revenge, that with every ending there's a new beginning, that girls' bottoms in their 20's are the best and I wish I'd cherished mine more when it looked like that ;) that I dream of Big and Bentley when I'm away from them, that being spoilt doesn't spoil you, that you don't have to like everybody or need them to like you, that you can know somebody for a while and suddenly fall in love with them, that the sun sets earlier and more spectacularly in the South of France, that sisters rock, that Old friends are the Best friends, that Captains are sexy and men in uniform look divine, that I should always travel with my own pillow, that Bastille day fireworks are spectacular, that moisturiser and mineral water are essential now, that I shouldn't worry as much, that I should only tell myself good stories with happy endings (and believe them), that some things are always bound to end in tears so best not to start them, that love and friends are the most important gifts in life.......oh, well, she actually already knew that last one.

So Clare's home now and I am not sure who is more happy.....me, Bentley, Alex or her. And now instead of looking back, it's time to live in the NOW and focus on all the good things that are happening. Just as some people have gone, others have come, including one of Clare's best friends who is back from England, hopefully for good, so let's make this the happiest, funnest, bestest Summer in LA.....YAY....“Happiness is living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation”

Pause......

2009-07-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

“The pause-that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geome trically progressive silence, which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it."
Helloooooooooo.....Just wanted to let you all know that we are away on our summer holiday now....on a boat.....unable to blog. As soon as we can we will resume adventures of Mr Big. More than anything I hope you're all having a great summer. We've had so many e-mails worrying and wondering and I thought this was easier than answering everyone indivi dually. Without a doubt this is the most fun summer we have had so far and cannot wait to tell you about what I can of it when we return. Lots and lots of love......“Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”

Flying again.....

2009-07-13T01:15:00.000-07:00

Well it's Sunday so it must be London. After Paul, Alex and I went to The Grove to see Bruno I flew overnight BA to London which was really great. Such a treat. I am still not entirely sure I loved the movie, but that could have been because I was sandwiched between two guys who were laughing so hard that it was hard to hear the movie. I was worried Paul was going to fall off his chair, or break something. There is nothing in this whole world that makes me happier than seeing Paul laugh that hard, and I am so so glad that we managed to have an afternoon together before we all flew off again.
I arrived back at Paul's house just as he was leaving for the South of France.
We said hello goodbye, as I will be joining him there later in the week and I lay down on the bed exhausted for approximately five minutes before peeling myself off it and getting in the jeep. I drove down to Cobham to see my Sister Kate, her children Ella, Kai and Luca (who are so so so beautiful it's ridiculous) and two of my neices were also there, Ollie and Cassie. And of course Mummy. Wow, it was quite over whelming to see them all after such a long time and I couldn't stop staring and laughing and prodding them to make sure they were real. It was really emotional for me. Especially seeing Kate's new baby boy, such a little bundle of miracle. Even though I was tired I rallied and couldn't get enough of catching up and hugging my family. Finally I got back in the car, still tired, and drove back up to the house.
I had a quick nap and then Dougray arrived and we both drove over to Bucci's to have dinner with lovely Buckley. Good grief it was good to see her. Ridiculously good. Suddenly made me wish I was staying in London longer. She is such a tonic, and probably the wisest, calmest, most supportive, loving friend I have. There is nothing I cannot tell her and she never judges, totally understands and gives the best advice. We had a good dinner and talked about everything......well not everything. Funnily enough I have finished talking about the ex. He just doesn't seem to come up, which must be a good sign that things are done. So we talked about other things and about Dougray's filming in Buenos Aires and how well that had gone, and our friend Charlie Cox, who is still out there, and on and on. We eventually came home and I sat up and watched the Katie Price interview with Piers Morgan which I found interesting and at least it kept me awake until midnight when I said goodnight to Paul by phone and climbed into bed. You know in 10 days I have done three overnight flights and it has really caught up with me. My body aches even though my mind is excited. As you get older jet lag and hangovers just get worse and take more energy to recover from so I'm glad I only have one to deal with these days. Fell asleep to the familiar sounds of this house and home. Dreamt about the dogs.......

Home sweet home....

2009-07-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

Oh it's so good to be home. And the second we arrived it was fantastic. It was great to see Alex and he, Clare and me and Bentley went for a reunion hike in Beachwood which was fantastic. It was the first hike Bentley has been on in two weeks due to his pneumonia, so he was so happy his entire body was wagging. When we got home there was a beautiful car in the driveway which only meant one thing - Ryan Seacrest was here. He also flew in this morning and was looking so handsome it was ridiculous. He just also happens to be one of the loveliest, funniest, smartest guy I know and we took it in turns to tell stories of our summers so far and we laughed so hard my sides hurt. We all agreed that it doesn't matter all the stuff you acquired and possess through success, none of it matters unless you have great friends you can share it with. I know that when Clare is travelling and she gets to stay in these amazing suites and fly in amazing planes, she always gets a little sad when there's no one to share it with and enjoy it with but luckily Paul is always there and they have such fun together.
So after a fantastic evening on the terrace we drove down the hill to BLT and had a great steak dinner looking out over the Sunset Strip. Everybody was tired but there is nothing like good company to revive you and make you feel like yourself again. The good thing is that the trip away seems to have done the world of good for Clare. She is so much like her old self and seems happy and content again. It's easy at the end of relationships to think that it was all for nothing and a waste of time but I believe that everything happens for a reason, and all people come into your life for a reason, some good some bad, but you always have to look for the lesson in it and then you find closure. Nobody really gets to choose how long anybody is in their lives. But you just need to try and keep the faith that there is a bigger plan and that it's always for the best. For both of you. So you move on and over and up and forward and try to let go of resentment and hurt feelings and just focus on the good of it. As the Dalai Lama said "Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day." That's the most you can ask of yourself. To just bring as much meaning to everything and everybody and then let go. This is the most beautiful life imaginable and there is just no point in wasting a single moment of it in regret or memories. Keep your eyes on your destination and the wonder and beauty of the scenery on the journey we're on. Live in love. That's the key.
Oh did I sleep like a dog......sigh

Melbourne and home.....

2009-07-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

If Sydney is like San Francisco then I think Melbourne is kind of like Boston. Its a beautiful city full of palm trees and very old buildings and lots and lots of churches. There's a tram system which is pretty and it feels like a good walking city which I love. Not that we had a lot of time to walk anywhere. From the time we woke up we were driven from studio to studio, from TV interview to Radio Show to Magazine offices where Paul had to answer so many questions that by early last night he had pretty much lost his voice. It's a tough old slog but he has more energy than any man alive and works hard and puts his all into it so we made it through on his enthusiasm alone, even when we were flagging. Here's a picture of him at breakfast and I think it says it all.
By the afternoon we were counting them down until 5 when Paul did his last interview and we went over to see a local Osteopath to sort our tired necks out. He clicked, crunched, and coerced every bit of me until I was feeling taller and lighter. We all went for a final dinner at Botega and fell into bed again totally exhausted. This morning we woke up bright and early, had breakfast and then headed to the airport and home. In the car I made a list of all the things I really love about Australia.......here are some of them......they call everyone "mate" so you feel as though you have friends there even when you don't, the toilet paper smells of baby powder, they say "no worries", they have very cute animals like koalas and kangaroos, they make great bikinis, the fish tastes incredible, people actually say "fair dinkum" and you feel like you're in Crocodile Dundee when they do, Quantas has never had a crash, the time zone from LA means you can actually adjust pretty well, the Hyatt Hotels are awesome and make sleeping easy, our publicist Alysha who made the whole trip a dream, Flip Flops are so cheap and very cool, the footballers wear very short shorts!!!, the people are open minded and they love the beach, there's lots of space and it feels very uncrowded, three of my favourite girls in the world are Aussies - Elle Macpherson, Sophie Monk and Natalie Imbruglia...Plus wherever we went there were these fabulous displays of Paul's books so that was a very good thing.
All these are great things about Australia but there is no place like home so I've just walked in the door and been kissed, slobbered on, mounted, hugged, floored and licked by Big and Bentley, there is absolutely no way to describe a greeting from two great danes who you've done nothing but miss for five days. So it's time to hand the blog back to Big and he can tell you all about our next adventure.....I have two guys here who are raring to get to the John Varvatos friends and family sale.....friends and family, now that's something I love......

Sensational Sydney....

2009-07-07T15:11:00.000-07:00

I love Sydney. It’s such a great city. It’s vibrant and young and exciting and beautiful. It sort of reminds me of San Francisco a little. But friendlier ☺ So we arrived at dawn and went to our hotel, which was the Hyatt Regency, right under the Bridge and next to the Opera House. When you walk into the hotel the view is incredible and actually takes your breath away. We dropped our things, had some breakfast and then went straight to work. Paul was filming a piece for “Today Tonight” for Channel 7 with Jono Coleman. He worked with him to take away his compulsions for chocolate and it went very well. While they were doing the interview Clare had to go out to the shopping center and buy a coat because she forgot to bring one somehow and she saw a giant billboard above the road and took Paul back there to have a photo in front of it with all the cars hooting their horns.
After the big TV interview we had to run around doing a lot of radio and magazine pieces so we got to see a lot of the city as we drove around. It was an absolutely beautiful day and I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed running about and being busy and creative. It’s such a great feeling, knowing that you’re being useful and helpful, being of service is the most brilliant way in the world to get out of your own way and out of self obsession. Instead of worrying about what you don’t have or what you’re missing or feeling sorry for yourself you just focus on what you can do for somebody else and you feel instantly better. It completely changes your perspective and makes you happier and calmer. So this trip is great for that and I haven’t felt bad for a second. So we went back to the hotel for a great lunch on the waterfront and then more work, a relaxing massage and dinner at The Rockpool with the head of Random House Australia which was fabulous. We were so tired our eyes were watering by the time we got to bed. My body was exhausted but somehow my mind was still racing. I thought about Bentley and sent him some love and healing as I lay there falling asleep.…… he’s home from the vet tomorrow and I’m so grateful to Alex for looking after him. Slept like a very sleepy, tired dog with the sounds of the harbour in the background. What a great day…..

G'day Australia.....

2009-07-05T14:27:00.000-07:00

Well we arrived in Sydney safe and sound - Quantas First Class is a really effortless way to spend a night crossing the date line!!!! We arrived in Australia as the dawn was breaking and suddenly it seemed like a strange new world. Our Publicist Alysha met us at the airport and we drove into the city and as we turned the corner to the hotel, which is right in the harbour, there was the bridge and the opera house and the sun was just coming up behind them. Life is amazing. How you can one day be on the beach with friends in Los Angeles and then be in Sydney Harbour is quite surreal. And the funniest thing is that if you're not in peace, if you're restless or discontent or unhappy, then none of it can mean anything at all. These aren't the things that make you happy deep down, but they are a wonderful background for the things that do - the people you love.
This is just wallpaper at the end of the day and if you weren't happy in Carmel, LA or NY then you're not going to suddenly be happy in Sydney. It's easy to think you could be or would be, but it's just an illusion. I have to keep reminding myself that the only way to be happy is to surround yourself with other people who are happy. It is the most infectious virus I know.
There is a great saying that I love.....STICK WITH THE WINNERS. Just to be around people, like yesterday, people who are doing well, who are happy, who exude the most amazing dynamic energy, it is a natural tonic and I absolutely thrive on it. Some people take you up and some people bring you down and that's all there is to it. I need to be around people who need nothing else from me than myself, not because I can do something for them, pay for them, help them, advise them, introduce them......it's absolutely exhausting and unrewarding and it doesn't work, no matter how much you try, it doesn't work.
So I am here in Sydney with the person in the world whose energy I love the most. Who inspires and motivates me to be a better person and wants absolutely nothing from me except that I do my best, and when I mess up, doesn't love me a single atom less ------- what an incredible blessing that is.
Just for all of those who asked and sent love to Bentley, he is doing really well, and may be home from the vet tomorrow morning which is wonderful. Thanks for your prayers.
So the first part of our adventure begins.....will keep you posted xxxxxx

4th July 2009

2009-07-04T10:38:00.001-07:00

What a difference a day makes. I often think how silly it is that we worry so much about things that never happen, and what a waste of time it is....as it says in that brilliant Sunscreen song....."Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday." He is so right, although, this one blindsided us about 11pm on a sweltering Friday night.
So last night Bentley took a turn for the worse. He had been diagnosed with Kennel Cough but last night his temperature was so high and he was having trouble breathing and Clare called the wonderful Dr Dean at the Malibu Animal Hospital and he told her to bring him in first thing. SO after a restless night's sleep Clare and Paul headed off down Sunset Blvd to the Coast with Bentley while I went for a hike around Runyon with Alex while we waited to hear the news. When they arrived, Dr Victor took some chest x-rays of Bentley, who by now had a nose bleed, and he came back and told them that Bentley has pneumonia. How can anybody get pneumonia in the middle of summer in Los Angeles? Well Bentley did. Poor poor boy. They have kept him in the hospital with an IV drip in his paw and so far he seems to be responding well to the treatment and his temperature is down from 105 which is what it was when he arrived there.
There was nothing more to be done but leave him in the best vet hands in LA. Luckily we were all spending the day out in Malibu anyway at Jason Statham's 4th July BBQ. It's funny how last year we spent all summer throwing BBQ's and this year it all seems to be coming back to us as we seem to be going to one every weekend now and it's a lot less stressful and a lot less work when it's somebody else's party. So we drove out at lunch time and stopped off to visit with Bentley to see that he was OK. It seemed surreal to imagine that tonight Clare and Paul are getting on a plane and will be in Australia when they wake up!! Clare didn't really want to go and leave Bentley but Alex is going to do everything to take care of him and they're only gone for a few days.
SO we tried to put that out of our mind and arrived at Jason's amazing new house in Malibu Colony. It was incredible. The house is right on the beach and the food and entertainment was extraordinary, burgers, lobster, chicken, cobs of corn, an amazing bar, DJ....and a baby tiger cub. WHAT???? We had such fun hanging out with Vinnie Jones and Jason, who was on brilliant form and got Paul to have a picture with him and the tiger!!!!!!!! I sat on the beach and looked out at the ocean and realised I was absolutely in heaven.....it didn't hurt
that the view included Adam Grenier of Entourage who was surfing ;) and now Oz is calling and we're ready for the next adventure.....just wait and see what's around the corner.....slept like a dog wishing and hoping and praying and worrying about my friend Bentley, send a prayer if you're so inclined, you can never have too many prayers said for you.....oh and yes it was a little chilly on the beach thank you.....

80/20

2009-07-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

You know Paul promotes a very good theory or rule that we are using more and more and finding to be useful. It was invented by Wilfred Pareto, a 19th century economist. It is the 80/20 rule. FOR EXAMPLE - you wear 20% of your wardrobe 80% of the time, you listen to 20% of your i-pod 80% of the time, that 80% of your enjoyment comes from 20% of your friends, that 80% of your time is spent on 20% of your problems, that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts, or even that 20% of your carpet is walked on 80% of the time etc. etc.
The point of the theory is that you should be aware of where 80% of your enjoyment and good feelings come from and concentrate your efforts and energy into those and get rid of where a lot of your bad feelings and energy arise. It is a simplistic idea but it is quite amazing when you stop and think about it and realise how effective it can be when employed. In business it is quite amazing to see that 80% or your problems come from 20% of your clients, or that 80% of your profits come from 20% of your work.......I am really beginning to see the genius in it, and it is easy now to figure out what to keep and what to lose. I have been doing some good shedding of dead wood lately and I think it is reaping rewards.
We are so happy today because the Australia trip was moved a day later so they are now not leaving until Saturday night which means that we can now celebrate 4th July here in the good old US of A. We have had so so so many great 4th's here and this year we are invited to a fabulous party out in Malibu that we were sad to be missing and now won't have to. It's great to be able to look back on all the past one's we have had here, recall where we were and realise they have all made us laugh.
That's what I love about Holidays. You can always measure where you are and in what direction you are moving by looking back and remembering where you were last year on this date. And as long as you have as much fun and as many good people in your life year to year then you must be doing something right, even if they're not the same people. The scenery changes so often around here, people come and go, it's a transitory place and you have to hold on loosely and not get too attached, and then there's no pain in letting them come and go.
So Paul and Clare are absolutely looking forward to this weekend, and even to getting on their flight and flying to Sydney. What a treat to get to see this beautiful world in all it's glory. Can't wait to tell you all about it when they arrive.........

Feelings....

2009-06-30T22:05:00.000-07:00

It's funny because I love to watch people and learn from them and I think I have learned a lot lately. I know that people think that being sad is a bad thing and something to be avoided but I think it is part of the amazing beauty of being human. It means you're alive and that your heart is still working and that you are open to the full gamut of emotions and the power and wonder of feeling and loving. Because if you look at the alternatives I don't think they're better....therein lies true hopelessness and despair. To not be able to experience joy and love and to fear them, to live in negativity, to have a fear of commitment or intimacy, to have a closed mind or a closed heart, to live in guilt or shame and worst - to have to live a life that isn't true and a lie, those are the alternatives to feeling and being and I don't want any part of them. I think it's far better to live life to the full.
Try to connect more and deeper with people you love and let go of the rest.....that is the answer (thanks Anne). So if you're in any pain or anger or confusion or hurt just remember that it's better than feeling nothing and having a dead soul and heart, because as much as that might protect you from feeling the bad feelings it also cuts you off from the joy, happiness, laughter, bliss and love that makes life so incredible. Just feel the feelings, the good and bad. Don't fight them - embrace them, dive right into them, thank God for them, learn from them and forgive yourself for having them as long as they last, there is no shame or shortcoming in them, they're part of life and they're what make us real.
So it's been a good week so far. We drove over to Barrington today for a new outing at the dog park to meet up with our beautiful friends Dana and Cecille. Bentley wasn't able to come as he actually has Kennel Cough, which is a type of bronchitus. We think he caught it at the vet when he was there for his paw. But he's sick as a dog and obviously coughing all night which keeps us awake but because we love him we don't mind too much. He looks so sad with his wild eyes and I wish I could explain to him that it won't last forever, it will pass, and he will get better. It's just that when you have it you see no end to it. So Clare just strokes his hot head and tells him it will be OK and sends him back to sleep by kissing his beautiful velvet ears until he starts to close his eyes. He's such a good dog.
Only a couple more days before Australia and everyone's excited about that. Luckily Al is staying here to look after us and they'll only be gone a few days so it will fly by and we'll be on to the next adventure.....I'll keep you posted all the way.

Family.....

2009-06-28T08:12:00.001-07:00

Isn't it funny how sometimes good things come out of bad things. Lately Clare has been talking to her sister Kate in England a lot and been reminded that a sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. Clare had gotten out of the habit of calling and then one day she picked up the phone and they've been chatting ever since. “For there is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather, to cheer one on the tedious way, to fetch one if one goes astray, to lift one if one totters down, to strengthen whilst one stands.”
Kate really is the most special person in Clare's life. She admires her enormously for the way she's bringing up her three beautiful children and just how very hard she works in her job and her life. She has an amazing work ethic and Clare is incredibly proud of her. Plus she's ridiculously beautiful and talented too. She really is the best sister you could ever have - “A sister is one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.”
Her eldest daughter Ella has been doing incredibly well lately too. She is a great athlete and recently came sixth in the country in a swimming competition. She is such a lovely girl. And then there's little Kai and new baby brother Luca who we haven't
even met yet but we will do in a couple of weeks and I cannot wait.
We have had so many great e-mails lately. Honestly, honestly, they are the greatest comfort and joy in our life. Just to think a stranger took the time to write and come up with some helpful words or advice, it makes me so happy. If ever ever anyone were to question why anyone would write a blog and open their lives up to some sometimes unpleasant criticism or judgement, it is far far surpassed by the friendships we have made with women all over the world that we consider friends and honorary sisters. It's wonderful.
So we had a great week. Clare, Alex and Paul and some wonderful dinners. Yesterday we drove out to Venice Beach to Steve Shaw's barbeque which was so much fun. There were a lot of people we knew there and it was such a beautiful day for a drive. We had a great afternoon and it was good to see our friend Sadie and her boyfriend and hang out with them and the beautiful Kelly Brook and England Rugby player Danny Cipriani. We all sat on the roof of the house eating burgers and drinking Pimms and enjoying a change of scene.
We drove home about 6.30 and Alex and Clare took Bentley and I for a walk in the canyon. We took a path we recently found and half way round the hill Clare noticed that Bentley was standing over something wagging his tail. We got closer and Clare saw that it was a huge Rattle Snake, coiled hissing and rattling his tail. Amazingly Clare ran and got between Bentley and the snake and pulled him back and Alex took me past but we were all a bit shaken up. People often talk about rattle snakes but in all the time we've been here we never actually saw one before. Well we won't be taking that path again. And it all turned out fine and nobody was hurt so that was good. Came home, we all watched a movie and had a peaceful night's sleep.....dreamt about seeing sisters soon....sigh

Games.....

2009-06-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

So life is surprisingly good here right now even with a sad heart. Gosh the weather makes so much difference, after all that gloom, the sun has burst through and looks as though it's here to stay for the Summer, And what a summer it's shaping up to be. I love love love having things to look forward to. There is nothing but hope and anticipation and expectation and wondering what's round the next corner and where it will all lead. It's funny how most people sit around and tell themselves stories about what bad things could happen, how things could go wrong or worrying about losing things they have or not getting what they want.......all a bit of a waste of time from where this dog is sitting.
I sit around imagining how good dinner is going to taste, which canyon I will be going to today, whether I am going to get to sleep on Mummy's bed later, what time I might get a chew.....all the good things that make my tail wag. Then even when those things aren't actually happening I am thinking about them anyway which makes me feel just as good. I recommend it. Don't fear the worst....assume the best. And that's what will happen...“I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.”
OK so that's my pep talk. Clare is more cheerful so that's good news. She has been very pro-active about moving forward and focusing on what she has and what she can do to make herself feel as good as she can. She is doing her best to put a brave face on the fact that this Thursday is the final day of Pinkberry Green Tea Flavour, but she is focusing on the two new flavours which are replacing it - it's a secret, but we can reveal exclusively on Mr Big's Blog that the new flavours are Coconut and Passion Fruit. So we are focusing on the positive and putting the negative behind us.....it's boring to stare at that anyway.
The most exciting news around the house is the new addition of a badminton net on the lawn. Clare, Al, Paul and Michael Neill played the inaugural match and it was actually the most fun ever. Ridiculous how enjoyable playing games can be. I love it. It makes me feel like a puppy again. “We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
The game eventually ended when Bentley took off with the Shuttlecock. He still is a puppy so it's forgivable. The great things about games is that you can make them out of everything. Life is a game. Sometimes you're winning, sometimes you're losing, but as long as you're still playing. Just don't play it safe......“Playing safe is probably the most unsafe thing in the world. You cannot stand still. You must go forward.”

That's enough of that.....

2009-06-21T16:50:00.000-07:00

Good grief. Looking back on my last few blogs I am really sorry about being a bit of a doggie downer. It seems as though I had a bit of bad luck and it just spiralled into a touch of self pity and wallowing and focusing only on what isn't going right. So.....to follow my own advice, which I love to dispense but then forget to follow.....I am going to start this week afresh and focus on the good and what's right and all my blessings and get back to some good old fashioned gratitude. For starters I am going to make a list of all the good things happening this week and generally.......so Paul got back after a day at Ascot with Simon Cowell which was very successful - Clare went to pick him up and the first thing we did was go meet Ryan at the opening of the new BOA on Sunset where we ate the best Kobe beef in the world....definitely a very good thing indeed, and Ryan was such fun and we were so well looked after it was a highlight of the week. What else? Well, the deal memo came through for Paul's new TV show in the US which is incredibly exciting as that looks as though it will happen very soon, June gloom is over and the skies are blue for summer, Alex has started work on his NBC - and it is so much fun watching him do that and we are all learning so much, we submitted our TV Pilot this week so fingers crossed about that, Clare has lost seven pounds (sometimes break-ups have their upsides), we are going to Australia in a couple of weeks and then to the South of France, Lake Cuomo and London - where Clare will get to meet her new nephew for the first time and see her family for the first time since September, lots of our favourite people are coming to LA this summer so that will be a lot of fun to have them back, Bentley's paw is healing - although he has to have a cast on his foot for a few more days (No we're not focusing on the negative of that, just the fact that it's nothing serious), Clare's phone has been particularly busy and it is impossible to feel lonely when you have so many people who care, Clare has started writing a new show which she is very excited about and really enjoying doing as well, Paul seems really happy and that makes us happy, the summer sales are on so it is a great excuse to go shopping and find some great bargains.....ok that's plenty to get started with.
Except for one more memory. Last night we had dinner at The Chateau with Ryan Seacrest and Michael Buble, who is just about the loveliest, funniest, sweetest, most talented guy ever. It was one of the most wonderful nights I can remember. We all ended up back here at the house, where Al joined us, sitting on the balcony talking and laughing. Then Paul asked Michael to sing Song For You which is our all time favourite song by him. Ryan introduced him in an American Idol style, which was hysterical, and he just stood up and sang it. I got covered in goose bumps and my face hurt from smiling and I thought it was one of those incredible, magical, unique, awesome moments that I have so so so much gratitude for. As Michael says in his song HOME "And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life, It's like I just stepped outside when everything was going right"....that's exactly how I feel.....slept like a very happy dog.....

New Things.....

2009-06-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

Am very sad. My lovely father Thomas passed away. It made my heart hurt. I didn't really know my Father because I came to live with my foster parents Clare and Paul when I was three months old, but they remembered him and they showed me pictures of him that Jane sent and I thought he looked very regal and proud and I know how loved he was. My heart goes out to his family.
It's strange because lately I think the universe has been reminding me of something very important. And that is to NEVER TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED. It only sets you up for disappointment and a nasty shock.
Now not that it in any way, shape or form compares to that news.....I am a big believer in signs and especially when things happen in 3's it definitely means I am being taught something. Clare walked into Pinkberry today and they told her that the green tea flavour is going to be discontinued at the end of the month. This might seem trivial to you, but Clare eats that for lunch pretty much every day and it could quite possibly be her favourite food and suddenly it's disappearing. Right on the back of her Extra mints that she used to get shipped in from London being stopped, and then last night we went to dinner at Taste and they had taken the sesame crusted tuna off the menu. GOOD GRIEF. And I know it sounds funny but it seemed like more than just a coincidence that three things she takes for granted and loves just ended!!!!! But I guess it's just another change and part of life's way of pushing her to try new things, not get stuck in her ways, keep moving out of her comfort zone and not being afraid to do so. “Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” It is so easy to assume that certain people are always going to be there for you but nothing is necessarily for forever, even when you might think it is. Life is full of change and endings and new beginings and the trick is to hold on loosely. Don't pin your happiness on anybody or anything always being there tomorrow. Trust that whatever happens you will be taken care of and looked after and that any change, disruption and disturbance is actually positive and necessary. And always remember that BIG RISKS EQUAL BIG REWARDS “Everyone has a 'risk muscle.' You keep it in shape by trying new things. If you don't, it atrophies. Make a point of using it at least once a day.”
So, aside from that, some things remain the same...and just for today we will definitely appreciate them and love them and never for a second take them for granted.....Nothing is forever, just for this one glorious day, and that's enough......

Choices....

2009-06-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

So Friday Alex and Clare drove to Newport Beach to pick up Al's new car. A Black Range Rover Sport. A great Choice. And Bentley and I went along for the ride and a fun play on the beach. When we got back we watched the movie Heat and I remembered Robert De Niro once said "The talent is in the choices". And it made me think. Choices are so important. I know so many talented, incredible, happy people and they really do make good choices in their lives. And there are others who, no matter how kind you try and be about them, well they make bad choices. They just seem to have an inner compass that guides them in the wrong directions automatically, and even when they are just about to succeed or achieve, well off they go in another direction, thinking that perhaps it's going to be better over there. Grrrrrr it makes me mad, and it's really frustrating to me.
Life here has been topsy turvy. Just when Clare was settling in for a stretch of heartbreak, something else happened that she never could have foreseen, never really contemplated or imagined, and it kind of turned her world upside down with WHAT IF's and WHY's. It was exactly like just when you allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself about something silly, it goes and pulls the rug really hard from underneath you and suddenly you're sitting on your butt wondering what on earth just happened. And the other thing suddenly doesn't seem very important at all. I guess it's life's way of keeping things in perspective and pulling you up short. So we're dealing with all that. And trying to stay positive and not think the worst. Saturday night Alex, Clare and gorgeous Bailey Chase had dinner at The Chateau and Russell came and joined them so there was no time for worrying or self-pity because we were too busy laughing. Bailey thought Russell was a rock star, which is good as he's playing one in the movie. It must be rubbing off.
Sunday was a lazy day and now we're just waiting for Paul to get back. Finally......two more sleeps.....

Wow......

2009-06-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

You know some of you guys have been with me for so long, but it still blows me away when I post something, like my last blog, and I get so many e-mails offering so much wonderful advice, wisdom and mainly love to Clare. She was so touched. I think love heals everything and it has been so funny as she has been saying I LOVE YOU to everyone lately. I counted 9 in one day and it makes my tail wag that every time the reply comes back I LOVE YOU TOO. And so that's what we focus on. It is THE SOLUTION. “To solve any problem, here are three questions to ask yourself: First, what could I do? Second, what could I read? And third, who could I ask?" so Clare had a problem and asked and you all helped.
The main point seemed to be.....When your heart is a little hurt, to never forget that you can look up and realise that the Jacaranda trees are still the same beautiful shade of purple, that the sky is still eggshell blue, that the hummingbirds in the garden are still humming, that the smell of the lawn after the gardeners have been with their mower is still heavenly, that our friends seem to love us more, that a cuddle with Bentley still feels as good, and a good night's sleep suddenly feels so much better and a sweet relief......what you all said is that : LIFE GOES ON. It just keeps going on and getting better and deeper and richer and sweeter.So Paul is still in London. He extended his trip ( I think he met a nice girl ;) ) so from having three musketeers we are down to just one, AL. But it's all good and we are being very productive and going to a lot of movies. We saw The Hangover at the weekend and it was hysterical. I laughed so much I nearly had an accident. We really should have waited until Paul got back but we were just too excited to see it. Funny films are just the best fun in the world. A movie that makes you laugh so hard it hurts. Nothing feels better.
SO this week has been all about writing. Clare has been working on a few different projects and now the second one is nearly ready to go off and be pitched which is exciting. One of the hardest things about writing without deadlines is just the very act of sitting your bottom down at the computer so this week we enlisted the help of the gorgeous actor Simon Kassianidis, he was the evil nemesis of James Bond in Quantum of Solace, but he also writes and he has been coming up to the house to work on his script while Clare writes her stuff. Somehow it's easier when two people are working and you don't get lonely or bored. It's a brilliant solution. And in this house we are all about living in the solution rather than the problem.....“The important thing about a problem is not its solution, but the strength we gain in finding the solution” Good point.....

Moving on up.....

2009-06-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

So today Clare and Al and Bentley and me drove to Big Bear and hiked the Cougar Crest Trail which made us all laugh. It was so amazing because as we drove up the Rim of the World Highway (yes it really is called that) it got so cloudy that we couldn't even see two feet in front of us, but Al kept saying that if we kept going we would break through the cloud into the sunshine. A couple of times we actually thought about going back and just spending the day in Palm Springs but we just kept going and suddenly we broke through into the most glorious sun and continued to Big Bear Lake and went for an amazing hike. And suddenly Clare realised that it's like life.
Like even though she's been in a bit of a sad heartbroken fog she just needs to keep on going through to the other side and the sun WILL come out again. Just trust.
Breakups. They're sad.
And that's all there is to it. So we go back to the tried and tested formula for getting through them.
"Cry (a good three times and no more). Do nice things for other people. Make upbeat mix cd's. Don't Wallow. Hike (sometimes twice a day). Take a vacation (Australia here we come). Distract yourself in every good way you can. Spend lots of time with friends. Buy stuff that makes you feel pretty. Breathe. Write a list of all the things he did that made you sad and mad and read it whenever you feel like calling him. Take a long hot bath with candles and cry one more time. Read helpful books and quotes. Stick a post it note on your mirror saying "I deserve so much more". Watch Action Movies and He's Just Not That Into You (no romantic movies). Burn all photos, destroy all letters and erase all texts. Write in your journal, get it all out. Laugh (you have to see the funny side). Get some sun. Lose weight while you're sad. Spend time in nature. Repeat "I'm better off without him" 100 times a day. Play 'Better In Time - Leona Lewis.' over and over. Remember that "Rejection is God's Protection". Have a massage. Spend time around people who didn't like him anyways. Put a picture of him in your "Museum of Indifference" alongside all your other exes. Delete his number.
And if all else fails, the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else ;-o Clare would particularly like to thank all her exes who have gone above, below and beyond to help out.
SO we had a great day in Big Bear, and Saturday we had the best afternoon at Russell Brand's birthday BBQ. It was such a brilliant afternoon, so many awesome people there, it blew our mind, and we all ended up playing Guitar Hero and it was hysterical watching these talented, amazing guys be so silly and have so much fun. We felt so lucky to be included. Really grateful. So another weekend over. And another day done. And who knows which way the trail will lead next. But my heart is still beating......

June Gloom.....

2009-06-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

How can it be June again????? It seems like it was June yesterday, but then Clare went and pressed PAUSE on her life, but thank goodness she's pressed PLAY again and just in time for summer. And what a Summer it's going to be. It's funny but Clare always uses the saying "When God closes one door he always opens another" and in the meantime I know people can get a little sad standing in the hallway waiting, but Clare says that's the best bit. The excitement of knowing a new chapter is about to begin and you have no idea what direction it's going to take you in, but it's always better than the last. So she kind of enjoys the hallways and the corridors because they're always leading somewhere else. And it's especially good if you weren't really happy in the room you ended up in anyway. Either re-decorate or find a new room.
So we spent the weekend making the best of everything. We had a barbeque up at the house, and even though June Gloom has set in a little bit, so the weather is a bit dull and white, the sun ended up bursting through just as everybody arrived. It was great to have so many friend in the same place and we were all playing musical chairs trying to get a word in. But of course the best bit is that Alex is back. Lovely lovely positive happy creative and encouraging - AL. He's moved into the guest house and it's kind of like getting a puppy for christmas, you just want to go down the garden and play with him all the time. The house is alive and full of laughter and postiivity. Nothing better than that.
So we ate burgers and hung out with Dougray and Claire, Ryan and his gorgeous sister Meredith, amazing Director Barry Navidi, fantastic photographer Steve Shaw (who took today's pics) and on and on and on. We actually managed to eat all the food we bought and the party continued long after the sun went down as we sat on the balcony outside Clare's room with the heaters on and me and Bentley asleep on our baskets listening to them talking. My favourite way to fall asleep.
Sunday we got up early to hike with Clare and Al, then gorgeous Bailey Chase called and wanted to hike so while I stayed here for a nap, Clare and Bentley actually went round Runyon. Crazy. Then Clare went and hung out with Russell to make her laugh hysterically and suddenly another weekend was over and we sat back and looked at all of our friends, at our happy life, at all the love there is and we knew there was absolutely nothing missing. As you can see we slept like a dog.......

Future Life Progression.....

2009-05-26T13:01:00.000-07:00

Soooooo it's funny that I realised something this week (another thing)...... About five-ish years ago Clare went to see the amazing Psychic Anne Jirsh, who Paul swears by, and she did a process called a future life progression. She just relaxed Clare, kind of like hypnosis, and then told her it was 5 years in the future and what did she see. Well she said that she was living in the Hollywood Hills (and at that time there was absolutely NO reason to think she might be moving here) and then she saw that she was driving a baby blue range rover, and she said that she and Alex were working together (no reason to think that would ever happen either), and then she was on the beach with me, and another younger dane called Bentley (which is why he was called that). Clare always thought it was amazing that she got three out of four things right, except that we realised the other day that the silver range rover actually appears pale blue because the sun is always blue and it reflects it. Isn't that funny. So Anne you were right. It's kind of like when Clare used to hike this hill every day and touch this house without ever knowing that she would live here one day, or did she. It's funny but time is all relative I think and sometimes things that happen now and seem so familiar like deja vu, well maybe that's because we recognise them. Who knows. But I like wondering.
We had a great weekend. Saturday we were going to have a bbq but ended up just inviting Charlie Cox up for a burger and they had such an interesting talk about how many actors were just about to quit the business and just when they decided to, that was it, everything turned around and they landed the big break. We were saying that it's more than coincidence. That it's more that the universe know when your energy changes and you stop the desperation and the needing and wanting and desiring, and you accept. It's in that acceptance that it all turns about. Like when you break up with someone and you miss them so much for a while and want them back and hope and pray, then one day you realise you didn't think about them once and that's when they call. It's like they can tell your energy has changed and then they miss having you there.
On Memorial Day we went up to Dougray Scott and Claire Forlani's for a barbeque and saw lots of friends we haven't seen in a while. It was a nice day and we had a table tennis tournament and Clare did pretty well.......so all in all it was a perfect day, happy and stress free. Slept like a dog.....

Best night ever.....

2009-05-21T14:44:00.001-07:00

I may have said it before, I may well have called other night's or days the best ever, but what's a dog to do when things keep getting better and surpasing all expectations??? At three we got in the car and drove to the Nokia Theatre and it was craaaaaazy. Red carpet and police and so many people screaming it was exciting even before we were inside. We went backstage and bumped into some people we knew and went downstairs to the dressing rooms and talked and got more and more excited until it was time to take our seats. The seats were fantastic which was so so kind. We were right on the aisle in front of Ryan's family who we absolutely love, they are some GOOD PEOPLE. And we were right along the row from Victoria Beckham and one of her sons who was the cutest thing ever.
All the past idols were there. We could see Daughtry the other side of our aisle and David Archeleta....oh all of them. And then
the two hour show began. And what a show. I honestly feel like it was the best show I have ever been to. I enjoyed it more than Live Aid AND Live 8 and anyother show that features a lot of different artists. It just had something for everyone and each surprise was better than the next. Everyone was fabulous but my highlight was Black Eyed Peas, and I loved Cyndi Lauper too, although you can't beat Steve Martin on a banjo for originality. Clare was up and down like a yo yo, dancing and singing along and loving every minute of it. And when Ryan came down the aisle and said hello to his Dad and then Paul, well you can see from the look on my face, my head nearly fell off with shock and happiness. So funny.
And then when they announced the winner it nearly blew the roof off. I actually think it's good for both of them that Kris won. Adam will be able to do more probably, and Kris will not be secured some success on the back of it, because he might have faded away otherwise. That's just my opinion but I am so happy for both of them. What nice nice people they seem. And super talented.
So we went on to dinner at Ceconni's with Randy, Ryan, Simon and even the Mayor of Los Angeles. He was so funny when we did our photo, Clare stood up and he told her to stand as tall as she could because he didn't have any problem looking short.
What an amazingly cool guy. Most people are always telling her to bend haha. Lionel Richie, his daughter Nicole and Benji Madden came to say hello too on their way out and stopped and chatted for a long time to Simon which was cool.
It was the most perfect heavenly night in LA, not too cold, friends all in one place, so happy for their night going so well and the great job they did.
We drove over to Simon's house for a quick drink before bed and I stood in the garden and looked around me at the most heavenly view, and the perfect night, and all my friends and I said thank you. We are going to miss Mr C so much now he's going to be in London for a while but golly it's been a fun three months. The best ever......until it just gets better again.....

Idol Final....

2009-05-19T22:41:00.000-07:00

Oh we are in such a good mood today. We had some great news and it made us all happy. It's the best feeling in the world when you've worked so hard to make something happen and when it finally pays off it's so worthwhile and worth all the blood, sweat and tears. And the funny thing is when something good happens to you and all the people who care about you are all happy too because they really are rooting for you and want the best and hope for your happiness. That's amazing. So we'll be able to let you know soon what it is, but for now, we're just smiling.
It;s such a beautiful time to be in LA. All the Jacaranda trees are in blossom so there is a beautiful lilac coloured tint to the world, and with the pink and scarlet Bouganvilia tumbling out of every crevice, there is not a prettier place to be. I have to say I do find the earthquake action at the moment a little scary, it is very unsettling to feel the ground move and rumble. But we have all the appropriate equipment, and we all know to drop, cover and hold on. We definitely know we're not in Kansas
anymore when you know things like that, we don't need that information in Kensington!!!!
Well I couldn't possibly ignore all the emails and texts from people wondering who we are voting for and rooting for in the Kris-Adam finale of our favourite show American Idol. Well we have been Adam fans from the beginning and have so enjoyed rooting for him. Although in the past two weeks we really have become big Kris fans too. Even going to the show last night and seeing them up close and personal didn't help us decide who our money is on. It's a tough one. But that's what makes tonight's final so exciting and it's great because we really don't mind who wins out of these two guys. They're both really talented. It's just so exciting to be in the studio and watch the amazing production.
And we had fun backstage and met Priscilla Presley, which of course was so exciting for Clare as she's such a big Elvis fan. Amazing. Then we saw the beautiful Katie Holmes with her little daughter Suri and it was so cute to see them together. So all in all it was a great evening and we can't wait unitl tonight..........